My 95 year old mother (broken hip and wrist in November and using a walker) and in AL near us insists that she is going back to her 3 story townhouse that is filthy and filled with junk...totally unsafe and 4 1/2 hours away from us. I am at my wits end...help please.
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You can call Office of Aging in Moms County. Ask if they or the Health Department could do an evaluation of the home for safety and health reasons. See if her township has a Health Officer. If so, ask if he can do this type of evaluation.
Now Mom. A broken hip is serious in the elderly. Going under can cause some cognitive impairment. I would ask the AL nurse if there is a way to have Mom evaluated there at the AL. It may be found that she cannot make informed decisions. If so, let the nurse tell her because of her hip, she cannot go back to a 3 story TH. If you have POA, then this is where it comes into play. You now make the decisions for Mom. You can get her house cleaned up and sell it. (Needs to be sold for Market Value if you think you will ever need Medicaid) Money spent on that house can go towards her care.
Like said, tell her if she wants to go home, then she needs to find a way to get there because you do not agree with her decision.
Sounds harsh, but when they won't stop and are making your life a living hell. Gotta do what ya gotta do.
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How will Mother get there if you don’t take her? Hitchhike? (Sorry) Use the therapeutic fib and tell her there was a water main break and the house was flooded. Right now, you’re waiting to see when and if it can be fixed. Or, the old standard, telling her when the doctor says she can return to her home, you r dowill arrange it. Do not argue. Do not placate. Do not waiver. Stick to the story and make sure everyone else is on board with whichever one you choose.