BIG LOVE to those who:
are doing the best they can when their parent(s) are mean and spiteful and demanding and hateful and scream at them…and nobody else is willing to do anything at all to help.
are caring for loved ones with dementia which is a freaky weird disease that is relentless.
never in their wildest imagination figured their life would revolve around someone else’s bowels.
have siblings who mainly criticize but don’t come around…oh, and are often greedy.
who want to run far far away.
are working full-time and being a wife and mother as well as a primary caregiver and have health issues of their own.
have the unrealistic desire to take a shower and wash their hair.
are more than half crazy from answering the same question over and over and over and over…
are feeling guilty because they often pray for their loved one to die.
feel like their life has been stolen, and they very much want it back.
are in a financial bind and feel hopeless about things changing for the better.
want to sleep from now through the 4th of July (Independence Day!).
don’t know what to do with themselves after their loved one is gone.
Big Love to you all—Lisa
19 Answers
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Actually, I'm fortunate when it comes to my care giving situation. My sister and I live in the house where we grew up (never thought that would happen!). We are taking care of our 92 year old mother who is nearing the end of her life. She's on hospice, and her nurse is competent, kind, and caring not only to my mother but to us as well.
My mother is ready to go. Yesterday she told my nephew, "It's all just too much." All of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren came to visit yesterday, and she held court from her bed. She has barely been eating, but yesterday she ate half of a banana split.
We know her time is short, but we're playing the waiting game. Her body is shot, but her mind is as sharp as a new razor blade. One day last week we thought would be her last, and then yesterday, she was enjoying a banana split. My sister has been pleading for my deceased father and sister and grandparents to come get her. Last night she told me one of her bridge friends (Mother is the last remaining of the original eight) came to visit. "She brought her crocheting...can you imagine?"
So I want to extend my empathy and love to all the caregivers because BootShopGirl is right that we each have our own story.
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I am slowly realizing that Mother is who she is. Much of the time I don't like her attitude, but I do love her.
Also, I am understanding a lot about why I am who I am -- the good, as well as the not so much; what characteristics about me are useful and what are not; how I want to be remembered and how I would rather not; that change begins with me.
For today, I know I am here in this moment of my life because it's where I'm supposed to be. Today I am at peace with that, but most days I want a "do over".