Dad in private pay memory care, mom in assisted living in different town. Qualify 1 for Medicaid or spend it all & qualify both?

I would consult an elder care attorney who is well versed in Medicaid qualifying ins and outs.

Get the advise of an Elder Care attorney- one that is in the same area where your parents are located.

You need first to understand Medicaid. Lets say Dad needs Medicaid. Mom becomes the Community Spouse. Their finances are looked at and split. Not sure how SS and pensions work but Mom will not be impoverished. Ex: Mr R needed LTC. He and Mrs R had 60k in the bank. That 60k was split 30k each. Mr Rs 30k went towards his care then Medicaid took over. Mrs R remained in the house, got the car, had 30k and enough income to pay the bills.

Other than asking if Dads facility excepts Medicaid, I would not discuss Medicaid with a Social Worker unless she/he worked for Medicaid. There are too many scenarios when it comes to Medicaid. Everyones circumstances are different. You can either talk to a Medicaid caseworker or get a lawyer versed in Medicaid to help you.

Go talk to an elder law attorney. If the memory care doesn't accept Medicaid, your Dad will have to be moved. That's just the way it is. I'm sorry. Find out what the attorney recommends and take it from there.

Talk to a social worker at his facility. Do they not take Medicaid? They will be the best 1st step to finding out what you should do. Don't let them tell you to keep paying for their facility if they don't accept Medicaid. He will have better luck moving if he is self pay for a while.