Make sure those 4 to 5 hours have as much quality as you can manage under the circumstances. Give him the food he wants. Play music he likes. Hold his hand and listen to whatever he wants to say. If there are unresolved issues in your relationship this might be the time to seek or offer forgiveness.
I recommend trying to enhance the quality of his life whether you keep him at home or seek residential care for him.
When my husband started sleeping 20 hours a day I called Hospice. Their evaluation determined that, yes, he would benefit from their program at this point in his journey. In retrospect it was a very, very good decision. Hospice enabled me to keep my husband at home.
Do you have any outside help coming in? If your father stays at home, that can make a lot of difference.
Before you make significant decisions, try to get a feel for what his prognosis is. Does his primary care doctor think it is time for hospice? How about the ALZ specialist? No one can predict exactly how much time is left to your father, but sometimes you can get at least a ballpark answer.
It depends on a lot of things. What does your mom want to do? If you want to care for him at home, you will be devoting perhaps many years to a man who, even though he is a father and a husband, will show no gratitude and as the disease progresses, won’t even recognize you. In a facility, there are three shifts of caregivers who would care for your father around the clock. If Dad stays home, you and your mother will be doing that work. Do you all live together now? Do you work outside your home? If you do, you will most likely have to quit. That means no money, no health care and no retirement fund. If you don’t live together, you probably will have to move in to help your mom. If you have your own family, they’ll just have to do without you.
You really didn't share much of your situation with us. If you’d care to share more, maybe we could give you a better answer.
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I recommend trying to enhance the quality of his life whether you keep him at home or seek residential care for him.
When my husband started sleeping 20 hours a day I called Hospice. Their evaluation determined that, yes, he would benefit from their program at this point in his journey. In retrospect it was a very, very good decision. Hospice enabled me to keep my husband at home.
Do you have any outside help coming in? If your father stays at home, that can make a lot of difference.
Before you make significant decisions, try to get a feel for what his prognosis is. Does his primary care doctor think it is time for hospice? How about the ALZ specialist? No one can predict exactly how much time is left to your father, but sometimes you can get at least a ballpark answer.
You really didn't share much of your situation with us. If you’d care to share more, maybe we could give you a better answer.
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