Lately my husband has started constantly rubbing his hands, fingers and knuckles. He’s been putting lotion on and holding his hands under water, sometimes washing them sometimes just letting the water run on them. I’ve tried to distract him and told him he’s going to cause dryness but he doesn’t seem to be able to help himself. Last night I noticed some of his knuckles are rubbed raw and are very red and sore looking. I put on Neosporin and gauze and they didn’t look quite as angry this morning. However he took the bandages off and is doing it again and they look awful. Any one else have this issue and if so how are you dealing with it? I feel awful that it probably hurts him yet he can’t seem to stop.
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I hope I didn’t give anyone the impression that I’m relying on his memory in any way . I certainly am way beyond that and sure don’t rely on his remembering not to or why . I’m just finding that when I gently touch him while he’s doing it he understands and stops for a bit which is really great for that particular moment. As of now I’m employing so much of the kind advice I’ve been given on this site and it’s all contributing to his hands being much improved .
Now I suppose we wait until the next new issue .
[back from Google - well I'm glad it's not just me, nobody else seems to have decided what they're called either! Mini ice packs, freezer packs, cool packs or whatever - the things that you put in with your sandwiches.]
Anyway, those: I wonder if something cool to hold might soothe him and stop him rubbing? Not frozen, in case he burns himself, you could keep them in the fridge.
I also purchased a kind of putty that people squeeze to calm them and keep their hands occupied . He’s also so aware of doing it now that when I
just say “ honey ?” he tries so hard to stop . Kind of breaks my heart but so much of what’s going on does that . Oh well there is so much more good than bad so it’s all OK .
I agree that repetitive/obsessional behaviours do fit the dementia pattern, but I'd also want to rule out:
urticaria or nettle rash, which you get as a reaction to some toxins and allergens
some kind of eczema, which is notorious for that horrific itch-scratch-itch cycle that's so hard to break (Betnovate worked for me, though I know steroids aren't for everyone)
mites or other mini-beasts burrowing under the skin, which he could have picked up from all sorts of places
The other things that itch like the very devil and are painful too are chilblains, but I assume you'd have spotted those?
Thank you
I would mix up some jojoba oil, sweet almond oil, lavender essential oil and some vitamin e.
This will heal his skin, minimize dryness from water and the lavender will help promote calmness and help against infection.
Do 50/50 sweet almond oil, then add 20 drops vitamin e per ounce of above and lavender at least 10 drops but it is safe to add as much as you like for the lavender smell to be stronger. Use as an oil or blend with an immersion blender for cream. This will leave a coating on the skin that will not wash off with the 1st wash. You might find yourself using it, it is so lovely.
If he has arthritis you can pull some of this out and add clove oil, wintergreen oil and peppermint oil this will create a nice penetrating heat and cool. I would also find a good MSM/chondroitin/glucosamine supplement for him to help give his joints the nutrition to feel better.
Depending on his history, you could try meditation balls. They are half dollar size metal balls that you twirl in one hand. You can find all of this at a good health oriented store or better yet, order off line and save a bunch of money.
I hope you find something that stops this behavior.
Hugs to you.
They sell fidget blankets on Amazon.
I will definitely keep that in mind for the future tho .
him and tie them around his wrists so he can’t scratch himself. Would your husband wear cotton gloves?
When my mother was in a facility, there was a woman who carried dolls around. Sometimes I think these constant, repetitive things they do is like that.
I do agree that these repetitive things , whatever they are , are all part of this strange disease . It breaks my heart tho when I see that he’s hurting himself . When I point it out he really tries to stop but obviously it’s beyond his control .
Thank you so much the suggestion tho . It certainly won’t hurt to try it .
My cousin who is “Mentally Challenged”, has a large 8 inch “porcupine ball” that she “giggles” for hours and hours. It is one way to keep her occupied while her parents are busy working in their home offices.
Maybe a plastic toy set like those you would give a 2 or 3 year old--large plastic cars or trucks with wheels that move, large plastic building blocks that your husband can stack over and over, etc. Look in the Toy Department for plastic toys that are safe and will keep his hands busy.
Maybe putting on some gloves will offer some protection from the rubbing, tell him that keeping his joints warm will make them feel better.