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Babes57 Asked April 2019

At request of the department on aging I obtained POA of mother with early dementia. Do I have a right to stop siblings from contacting her?

My sister had been assisting her but started getting verbally and emotionally abusive to her, she was turned in to area on aging several times and mom was scared of her so she wouldn’t tell them anything. Since then mom has fallen and obtained a head injury. I went to PA and brought my mom back to Colorado to care for her. The doctor asked her other children who would step up to take her and none of them did, there are 7 other children. I also asked two of my other sisters to be on the POA with me. The lawyer made sure mom was agreeable with it and understood it at the time. Since bringing mom here to Colorado, my siblings have become hateful and upset mom all the time. Mom suffers from anxiety and was just diagnosed with Alzhiemer's. Do I have a right to stop them from contacting her? Now I have never wanted this but it is causing her more anguish. I have actually sent her home twice in the last year. I promised her as long as she could travel I would make sure she would continue going home. Now they are threatening to take me to court and take her back there. Can they do that, since I have POA? The two sisters with POA aren’t involved with wanting to come get her. Mom has said she is better mentally when she doesn’t talk to them. I want what is best for mom and I know she is homesick but I know she won’t get the care she deserves because they didn’t care for her when she lived back there. Hardly ever went to see her or called her. I am done with this harming mom

Countrymouse Apr 2019
If contact with your siblings is causing your mother distress, you do have grounds for preventing it because it is in her best interests not to be distressed.

But what you should do is work with mediators, social workers, lawyers or whoever *and* your siblings to get ground rules in place so that they stop distressing her. Make nice, calm, loving, conflict-free contact with her children the goal (doesn't have to be tomorrow, it can be a work in progress) and you will win this argument.

Take it to court? Bring it on!

Oh - and as long as your mother is mentally competent, she is entirely free to refuse to see them and you must back her up - that's your job through POA.

JoAnn29 Apr 2019
Too many people with POAs. Hopefully they are alternates.

If its in Moms best interest to keep them away, then I think you haveca right to protect her from them.

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