Listen to what she has to say about dying. Maybe she has some things she wants you know, like her wishes for her funeral or where she wants to be buried. When my parents passed, I was grateful that we had had these conversations so I didn’t need to make these decisions for them.
I remember once when my grandmother was talking about dying years ago I tried to get her to stop. She said, “your friends are getting married, so you’re talking about wedding registries… My friends are dying, and so it’s important for me to talk about that.”
Check first, to make sure people aren’t stealing from her before you mention this to her doctor. It sounds like classic paranoia with depression. These symptoms are common and medications will ease the symptoms. The meds take about 30 days to become effective.
Maybe you can get her a little locked box to make her feel more secure.
If someone were to say to you very bluntly: "you can't help her." Would that change how you're looking at this horrible situation?
You can be there, you can hold her hand, you can offer her love and reassurance. But it's going to be more painful for you than it has to be if you actively expect this to cure her feelings of confusion and fear.
My heart breaks for you. I had a very strong, controlling albeit paranoid and pessimistic mother, and when she hit her 80’s she suffered from macular degeneration and dementia. She was delusional and often told me people were stealing things. As a housewife, she always liked to wear those aprons with the big pockets and I managed to find one at a thrift store. I got her accustomed to putting things like a tissue pack, her glasses and anything else she needed in the pockets.
Can you create a table cover that has sections and pockets for her things? We did one for my sister that kept all of the things she wanted close at hand and it worked really well.
Hugs, I know how hard it is to feel like you can't do anything for your loved one.
6 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I remember once when my grandmother was talking about dying years ago I tried to get her to stop. She said, “your friends are getting married, so you’re talking about wedding registries… My friends are dying, and so it’s important for me to talk about that.”
Check first, to make sure people aren’t stealing from her before you mention this to her doctor. It sounds like classic paranoia with depression. These symptoms are common and medications will ease the symptoms. The meds take about 30 days to become effective.
Maybe you can get her a little locked box to make her feel more secure.
ADVERTISEMENT
You can be there, you can hold her hand, you can offer her love and reassurance. But it's going to be more painful for you than it has to be if you actively expect this to cure her feelings of confusion and fear.
How often are you able to visit her?
Hugs, I know how hard it is to feel like you can't do anything for your loved one.
Has she been tested for a urinary tract infection?