My husband bad mouths me to his family who rarely bother to visit or call. How should I handle middle-aged step children?

I do have POA and Power of Medical care. Thanks for advice, why do people have to be so thoughtless and classless? When we married 25 years ago I tried everything to get close to his daughter but she just has her thoughts about me from the beginning. My 2 sons have given my headband sentimental cards at B/d etc telling him how much they appreciate him for making their mom happy. Something like that from his daughter would have made my world. I stopped trying about 15 years ago. She lives about 30 min away and we see her about 3-4 times a year and she calls him about 2-3 times a year. His son very disconnected from his family and lives 5 hr away snd has MS so he has his own problems He calls once or twice a year and meets us for lunch once a year around the holidays. It could be so so different for both of us if they weren’t so petty and thoughtless.

Only if they took a sincere interest in their father and trusted my information to them... they are so childish so I don’t know if that will happen, I would welcome them into heart and home if they were to act differently . I’m afraid to be poo pooed by them if I contact and tell all yo them. Or, they may use the IMO to drive a wedge between their dad and I. They would love to see him leave me but neither one would ever step up to take care of him. I’ll take care of him at home as long as I can handle him. Right now he is a walk-in talkie- no driving, I have to fill his pill box, fix him meals, clean house, pay bills, yard work, make his md appointment drive him where he needs to go in other words he can walk and talk, shower and dress himself and toilet himself but that is it. He could never live alone.

He is on namenda with increasing dosages since dec 2018. Now taking 10 mg in am and pm, did not do a thing til about 2 or 3 weeks ago he asked how to get on computer, I showed and how to get on bank website, etc- that was a week ago and he hasn’t asked again, then he asked me if I still had an old book that he said he would like to read it again. He had stopped reading about 18 months ago saying they couldn’t focus on the words in from chapter to chapter. He used to be in Evergreen. But he stopped completely down for the last 18 months and I gave him a book he asked for and he appeared to have read the whole thing over. Or five days. That really excited me but when I tried to get him another bath and he says that the chapters are too long and he can’t stay with the storyline. So I’m going to try to Find my book with very short chapters. I am retired some with him most of the time to do everything to be done including overseeing his medications and doctor appointments. But I do volunteer one day a week and I work two days a week so there are a couple of days week when I’m at home all day and this seems to be doing cruise up negativity and I never know when I’m gonna come home to.

I agree. Then if he accuses them they could see firsthand what his wife is going through!