What to do when your parents say they’re “fine” when clearly they are not.

We always say "I know you think you are fine and may feel fine but we can see something is off, you simply aren't as sharp as usual" trying to validate the only way she can express it and that we are concerned because she is usually much better so it must be something that can be "fixed" without making her feel threatened by what she isn't doing right. UTI's are well known for messing with cognitive ability and improvement with treatment so knowing it's a "treatable" illness and not permanent dementia should help her cooperate, it's the unknown that is so terrifying they don't want to admit anything I think.

"I'm fine" is also easier than listing problems I think and as long as a person feels it's "normal" aging complaints much easier to say as well and don't be too quick to ask for the opposite, I would rather do a little prodding, ask pointed questions because I'm getting "I'm fine" than being afraid to ask how they are feeling because you know your going to get at least an hours worth of complaints! Hahaha But I do know the frustration your having and have to be honest I probably give that blanket answer too much much myself, I just don't like feeling as though I'm complaining and of course come from an old stiff upper lip Yankee family. ;)

Are Ur parents still on their own? Who has the Alz? What do you mean by preventive? Once the UTI has cleared up, what more do you think can be done? Antibiotics should not be taken continuously. Cranberry tablets help to prevent a UTI. A probiotic helps since antibiotics can cause yeast infections. Another thing that is brought up on this forum is to make sure they do a culture to make sure what antibiotic to use.

gooutinstyle, I think our parents will say they are fine because they don't want us to worry. But as we all know, we worry like crazy because we can see the forest for the trees. Our parents are in denial :(

Many of us here had to wait until there was a serious medical emergency to finally convince one's parents that they are not fine. Sometimes it can take two emergencies.