Mom is killing me. What can I do?

She was in SNF for 5 months. She's wheelchair bound gets PT 3 x per week doesn't want shower help or anything I haven't been able to go home for a week and she refuses in home care! I dont know if it's all dementia or not. Plus she's sneaking wine. If I'm gone an hr I can hide the wine but what can I do? In morning she's ok but eve nuts. Says she can take care of herself but if I'm gone 2 hrs my phone rings constantly. I'm ready to die here.