How to deal with a sibling who is constantly critical of care provided to parent and yet provides mininal personal care himself?

My standard answer is you only get a right to advise if you are putting in hours with "boots on the ground" or if you are paying for it. Everyone else just gets a "hmmm, interesting ideas, let me know when you'd like to try that out"

Thanks for the response, Ella. Can you think of a way to transfer responsibility to your brother? You going on holiday for a fortnight, or getting ill? Your brother needs to know what is involved in your grandparents' care, and talking about it won't do the trick. Even knowing the issues of organising other ways to get care could be a big shock to him. I am sure that this is difficult, as you probably have no faith in his caring abilities. But it is the only way to get him to see, and potentially to help instead of simply criticising. If he really can't face caring, make him see what you are doing and negotiate a really sensible way for him to pay you for what you are doing instead of him.

Ella, your profile says that you are caring for your grandmother, but this post is about your parents. Could you give a bit more detail? Your brother might have different reasons for not caring for your grandparents, and if you are both younger than average on this site, it might affect answers. Yes there are ideas, but with no detail it’s hard to know if they are relevant.