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Bob59047 Asked May 2019

Dad just thought the living room end table was a toilet. Any advice?

My 88 yr old Dad with stage 4 dementia and diabetes just thought the living room end table was a toilet. He pulled down his pants and Mom caught him. He told her to shut up and she persuaded him to go to use the real toilet in the bathroom 15 feet away. This is the first time he has done this. Thanks for any advice!

qmnpxl May 2019
Can you live w/o the table? Can it be moved or eliminated? All waste baskets in my house are in drawers or cupboards. Can you guess why?

JoAnn29 May 2019
I doubt if he knew it was a table. My Mom did the same thing. Her area was our old family room. It had a bathroom in it. She had a twin bed, dresser, recliner and TV. Right outside the b/r door was a little table. Yes, she thought it was the toilet.

Your Dad may need more care than Mom can give. Medicaid has what they call a "Community spouse" thing. Basically, assets are looked at and split. Dads split would be spent down. Mom would be given enough to live. Depending on ur assets, you may need a lawyer versed in Medicaid to help you.

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shad250 May 2019
Laugh it off. Dad probably felt he could not make it to the bathroom
worriedinCali May 2019
No. Dads brain is BROKEN thanks to dementia.
Ahmijoy May 2019
This is such a difficult situation for all of you. Is says that Dad has reached the stage where he will be needing more and more supervision. Is Mom up to the task? It may be time to ask her if she thinks having a health aide come in a few times a week might be a good idea, if for no other reason than giving her a break.

Unprovoked anger is a lousy side-effect of dementia. In his mind, it was ok to use the table as a toilet. There’s no rhyme or reason for it. Staying in constant contact with his doctor is very important. There are meds for every stage of dementia that can help.

And feel free to come back here often.

NeedHelpWithMom May 2019
Gosh, I don’t know but I am sorry. Hugs! Others will know.

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