How long was it for you from the time your primary care doctor suspected dementia until a diagnosis was confirmed?

Being diagnosed helps to at least know what is happening but if it is dementia there is nothing they do to stop it. Meds may help symptoms but not the dementia. Have as much love, understanding and compassion as you can muster. Do not argue or reason with them. They cannot and it will only make them worse.

Monca: You're very welcome. There actually does exist a test - when a person turns Medicare eligible (generally on or about 65 years of age, but it does vary by a year or so), they are given a VERY simple test, e.g. "What year is it?." "Who is the President of the U.S.?'' et al. Those are waaaaay too generalized. My gosh, my sister in law could have killed herself and her two young grandchildren - only by the grace of God did people assist her by honking and getting her turned around. I'm testing my memory all the time by doing DIFFICULT online games to keep my mind sharp as I'm 72 years old.
With Alzheimer's, early diagnosis does not really a bearing on it - UNLESS an Einstein can come up with a cure, you're doomed, sadly.

Any updates from the blood work? Hope you're doing ok.

Monica, so sorry you have this on your shoulders. I know exactly what you are going thru. My husband had become so verbally and physically abusive over the past few years I was wondering why I was still here. Then I realized he wasn't just abusive. He had began to forget things, couldn't remember appts, meds, dates, etc. My DIL is a nurse and had just gone thru this with her mom and I was going thru something similar with my mom. They did as my husband, denied everything! He doesn't want to talk about it, nothing is wrong with him, etc. He has gotten mean but then he sometimes becomes himself for a short time. He is angry because he can't work any longer. My son helped me get him to go to the a psychologist after the pcp gave him a few tests. She told him he had stress, severe depression and onset dementia. He told the family she said he was just a bit stressed. He is on 4 medications for the stress, depression and dementia. The last one prescribed was Memantine. I have to remind him to take the meds. He had surgery last year and went down hill after that. I had surgery in late December and now have some short term memory issues and when I am tired, I struggle for the right words. So, I had the dr. test me. Said all was age related short term memory. A relief.
Some things I am learning is keep snacks and a lot of them. He is constantly looking for food. I had to put a tile on his keys because he kept losing them. We have found old mowers, tillers, etc. for him to tinker with in his shed. But he has lost all interest in doing things and sits and stares at the wall and smokes. He is also beginning to put off things such as bathing, eating regular meals, doing his nightly chore of taking out the trash. Said he just wants to sit and do nothing.
I wish you the very best. We are here for you. May your daughter have a beautiful wedding and you be as happy as she is.

This is my SIL's story. She didn't know she had Alzheimer's! One of her three sisters picked up on it! She had "the talk" and then it was confirmed via an M.R.I. at a neurologist. Now all the while my SIL had had signs - 4 years prior driving in her own neighborhood with 2 of her grandchildren in the back seat of her car & entered a one way highway - clearly marked in bold red "DO NOT ENTER." Managed to somehow escape without injury. Other signs, too - overdraft notices from her bank, doing $500 worth of damage while driving, getting lost going to her grocery store 2 miles from her home. BUT !! - SHE NEVER SAID A THING!!

For my Father-in-law, I think some family members suspected something was amiss in November.  I noticed in February.  It has gotten much worse since then.  His family convinced him to see his doctor in March and his MRI is tomorrow, memory test is next week.  His appointment to discuss results is May 30.  He is 83.  I'm sure access to specialists depends on where someone lives, like distance from a major city.  I hope you get answers soon, waiting is so hard.

Hi Monica. So sorry you and your husband are facing these issues and I hope you get some answers soon. I would get on the phone and be that squeaky wheel to get that neuro appt soon. My mom had quite a wait for her neuro consult but in the interim based on what her pcp saw and what info I relayed, her pcp ordered some testing. Carotid ct and mri. PCP was also able to tell us what the testing revealed all before we met with neuro. Best of luck and know you are not alone in your concerns and fears. I am full of fear about the future but do find this forum very helpful.

The devil is in the details. Ever heard of caregiver burn out?

"Also, my husband is the sole caregiver for his 92 year old mother, who lives in a retirement apartment 45 minutes from us. His dad died in December and his only brother died in 2014."

How is your husband's mother?

I started noticing that something was "off" with my FIL almost 4 years ago, and the neurologist only got around to testing him a couple of months ago. He did poorly and was told that it was mild dementia. My FIL also suffers from severe depression and high anxiety and refuses to take the sertraline and lorazepam and so we all seem to suffer right along with him.

Your husband's anger and mood swings sound like frontotemporal dementia (FTD). FTD is the most common form of dementia for people under age 60, and so your husband's decline may have started when he was still young and strong enough to hide it.

There is never a convenient time for a bad diagnosis. I'm a "hope for the best but prepare for the worst" sort of gal, and I urge you to use some of this time while you wait for his diagnosis to start getting important things in order like durable power of attorneys, living wills, wills, finances, etc.

Your daughter's marriage is a once in a lifetime event, and I hope that you will be able to be fully present for her and your new son-in-law, and participate in all of the joy that comes along with celebrating their joyous union.

Mm. I'm in the UK and things work a bit differently here, so this may not apply; but your husband is only in his sixties, he's got quite a range of symptoms, and I'd have thought the neurologist might like to get his finger out - if you'll excuse the vulgarity - and make that appointment sooner rather than later. Has the PCP ordered any further investigations meanwhile? - any scans, anything like that?

Meanwhile, can you have a confidential heart-to-heart with your other child? I expect your husband's face would be a picture of horror if you even suggested speaking to his children, but the wedding, being so soon, is a big issue and this is a lot to keep strictly to yourself.

HIs mother's 92, so he's what..? Sixties? Seventies?

I know this is incredibly difficult, but there are so many things that *could* be behind these problems that guessing has got to be a bad idea. Bloodwork in two days. I should get on the phone and badger the neurologist's office for that appointment. And hang around here on AC for more support, which will be along in a few minutes, I'm sure.

You are going to have to tell your daughter that there is a problem. You can try hugging this secret to yourself, but if you think she isn't going to notice that her mother is not excited and happy and giving her daughter's wedding her full attention... Better she should know that you're dealing with some uncertainty but expecting answers very soon than that she should be hurt and anxious that there's something you're not telling her.

Have you ever mentioned to her that you've been concerned about your husband over the last couple of years?

Thank you SO much for your response! I have known my husband 7 years and we are married 5. The last 2 years or so his short term memory, ability to focus and follow a conversation became progressively worse. The personality changes (angry, mean, combatative) are more recent...the last few months...bad enough that I brought up our need to go to counseling and check his healthough for vitamin deficiencies and/or ADD. Last month or two memory and focus were much worse. I have no other family members that I trust to talk with. I only have one brother and he and I are not close.

Oh Monica, I'm so sorry that this has landed on you just as you're preparing for your daughter's wedding. What terrible timing! - not that there could be a good time for it, of course.

When did you first notice that your husband was having these difficulties?

Apart from your daughter, what other family members might you confide in?