Guilt... I screamed at mom.

Caregiving is so difficult. I bet you have been stretched farther than you ever imagined possible.

Completely forgive yourself. Don’t think about this again. Don’t dwell on it, wish you hadn’t, mull it over, just let it go.

Now do do something that gives you a break.

Read NY’s post over and over. Perfect answer!

Stop beating yourself up over it. It happens. Some of the demands our loved ones who need care make or their expectations are unreasonable. Sometimes, their attitude just plain stinks. I understand that your mother has anxiety and depression - so does my FIL - and it's very difficult being around a person whose constantly negative. Identify what triggered you to scream. Usually there's a way to fix it or at least some ways you can try to alleviate the stress. You are doing your best. Apologize, give her a hug and move on.

I think anyone, especially those dealing with a parent with dementia has lost their temper. There are so many aspects of caring for someone with dementia that are frustrating and we are human. When I feel myself losing my temper I leave the room for a few minutes. I count to 10 or 110 or yell into my pillow or most often I just take a few deep breaths. If I find myself being short with my mom as soon as I calm myself down again I tell her I'm sorry for snapping at her. I give her a hug. I tell her it is not her fault and that I'm just tired, or whatever. Then we both feel better and move on from there. The important thing is to find a way to deal with your frustration in a manner that does not involve screaming in frustration.

OKAY- take a few deep breaths.

What was building inside that lead to the scream? step back and look at it with logic as a problem to solve. When i cared for my dad - i let him get to me. He would try to make me angry so that i wouldn't come back & that meant my stepmom could not go away for the weekend for a caregiver break. [He did not want her to leave for any reason]. If i couldn't ignore, distract, use humor - i would have to disengage - either go upstairs or outside where he couldn't get to me. I would have to do that until i was calm enough to deal. and yes - i screamed - outside often and loudly. Once in front of the neighbors who had come over to cut wood.

you are only human and dealing with a tough situation. Be gentle with yourself. try to understand yourself. Give yourself a hug. Give your mom a hug and tell her you love her. You are probably feeling pretty bruised right now -so be gentle with yourself.

What would you do to a friend?
apologize right.
Just say "I should not have yelled I'm sorry"
These are the hardest words ever. But just say them and you and she will feel better.

Hugs. To both of you. You may feel better if you can bring yourself to give her a hug, too, actually.

There is NOTHING more you can do than try not to do it again.

And, now I come to think of it, avoid triggers. What was happening?

We need more information to help you better. But if mom has dementia and you have screamed at her...well, most of us have been there a time or two. But we learn to do better with the help of others on here. If all you did was scream at her then drop the guilt. As Oprah once said, "when we know better then we do better." There is no room or reason to feel guilty you didn't intend to hurt your mom. You are probably doing the best you can with what you have. We all are.