I just moved to Texas to try and help my father-in-law out. My mother-in-law is 100% disabled, blind, and deaf. Shows signs of dementia, Alzheimer's, or sundown syndrome. He takes care of her 24/7 by himself and is on the brink of just walking away. I couldn't believe it when I seen them for the first time since Christmas when I moved here to Texas. Their physical and mental appearance is drastic. I need to find what resources are available for her so that I can get him/her the help they need. He is waiting on a referral to a psychiatrist so that he can get her diagnosis and get the treatment she needs but that's been over a week since his regular sent in the referral with no response. I'm new here so if anyone could give me any advice on what resources or help is available I would greatly appreciated it. I need to get him some help. I'm so worried about both of them at this point.
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I noticed in your profile where in Tx you are. Your community is not that big.
My Tx community is twice the size of yours and Psychiatrists are hard to find. I agree a geriatric psychiatrist would be great.
I am hoping you will be getting a referral in Dallas possibly. I don’t know if waiting for a referral is a problem nationwide but it certainly is in Tx. You will need to call and follow up. Not with the receptionist but with the PCPs nurse. Leave a message that includes your MILs name, your relationship, and that xyz is happening and that the referral is urgent.
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Yes, bring any medical records you may have. Make sure you have all ID for medicare, SSAN, etc.
I think what you need to do first is get your MIL's medical records together and go through them. She's had quite a lot of interventions over time, so reading back over her history may well give you important information about who knows her as a patient and what has already been done.
Waiting around for a referral to a neurologist or older age psychiatrist when you suspect dementia is quite stressful enough. Doing that when your loved one is also coping with the level of sensory deprivation your MIL lives with just doesn't bear thinking about.
Is your FIL prepared to let you speak to their PCP? I would suspect that he, FIL, is not telling it like it is; and making the PCP aware of the urgency might make all the difference.
My Mom was in her 90's, still very sharp for her age, but due to age decline hearing loss she gave everyone around her the appearance that she had dementia. She would scrunch up her face and shake her head no. But I knew what was going on, so I would quickly tell whomever was trying to talk to Mom that she is now deaf, and cannot read lips or read anything handwritten due to very poor eyesight.
Life was very frustrating for my Mom but she still did laundry and cooking with my Dad's help. This wasn't the retirement they had planned for this time in their life. She would get frustrated with Dad if he moved something that she would normally used. In her brain she knew every step it would take to go from point A to point B, and where she had placed things in the cabinets and refrigerator.
Mom's appetite wasn't very good as she had lost her sense of taste except for sweets, so she would eat cupcakes and ice cream.
Long-term-care may be the next step for your Mom-in-law, as JoAnn had mentioned. My Mom had spent her last year in long-term-care after a bad fall.
You Dad needs a break. Medicare does not pay for homecare unless you have been in the hospital. Its usually for Therapy or woundcare. Once the patient is considered OK, they are discharged from the service. A private agency will cost money.
If MIL goes to LTC, Medicaid may pay based on income. She would get 24/7 care and FIL can relax and visit. He will become a Community spouse and not made impoverished.
They can help you get the doctors order if they deem that your inlaws are eligible.
It could be their Doctor has an Agency they work with already. Medicaid also offers these type services. The Area Agency Barb referred to can help you determine which services they might qualify for.
If they qualify through Medicare they can get help setting up their meds, have their vitals tracked weekly, get a bath aide to help with that and help with physical and/or occupational therapy if needed. They can help you as a resource ongoing with questions about symptoms etc.
Come back and let us know how it’s going. You can find emotional support and problem solving ideas here.
Call the doctor's office and ask for the number of the psychiatrist so you can call directly.