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anonymous911014 Asked May 2019

Is there a way to prevent my mother from going to my wake?

Hello all. I am desperate for some clear cut answers. So any help is appreciated.


I have "mental health" issues so I still live with my parents at age 33.


I have poor physical health as well, especially when it comes to the lungs and breathing.


The kicker is, my mother smokes inside the house despite my repeated pleas and explanations that it's making me sick and in essence killing me.


It prevents me from sleeping and causes a ton of medical problems for me that are so gross I couldn't dare explain it here.


In essence she doesn't love me, and she is even killing me. To make it worse she has promised to smoke in her room with the window open but in the mornings she just doesn't give a care at all. Binging tv shows on the pc with her cigarettes is more important than her sons life.


Too bad there are no laws in place for the blatant murder of a person by second hand smoke. It's not hard to go outside. Anyways...


I've explained it, there is no other option. I don't want her at my wake. She doesn't deserve to see her dead sons face. Please tell me what I can do without stooping to her level. Thank you.

JoAnn29 May 2019
Do you want a wake? Because you could be cremated and not have any kind of service. You can be buried, and have no viewing. Have a closed casket. Talk to ur funeral director and see how u can have what u want.

Are you on SSD or SSI? If on either you are getting Medicare (if on SSD) and Medicaid. You may be able to get a housing voucher. This way you can move out. May find you feel much better. You can get help with food, utilities. Comcast has $10 WiFi for those getting assistance.

Tothill May 2019
You have posted this under cancer. Do you currently have cancer?

Is there any possibility of your moving out into a healthier environment?

As far as your wake goes, you cannot control what happens after your death. You can pre arrange your funeral while living, but I do not know of any way to control who shows up.

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cwillie May 2019
There are always other options, and given that you feel your current situation is killing you I can't see how a group home or even a shelter could be any worse than what you have now. Please speak to a therapist (I hope you have one?) about ways to get yourself unstuck.

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