This is a hard question. Prepared to take heat for it. POA, advanced directive, durable power. Who do you choose?

I guess you have no children?

POA is an important responsibility. The person you assign it to needs to understand its a tool. Not an opportunity to think they r entitled to your assets. If there is no one you can trust, then it would need to be ur lawyer or a very good friend. Either way, ask first. Seems like people find out they have been assigned and would have never agreed to it.

It should always be a person living near you. The person who may be ur caregiver. I don't like where one person holds the purse strings and another is doing the caregiving.

This is a hard decision but you need someone to be POD. Makes things so much easier.

Maybe I should give some context here. I am the younger of two kids. My sister was named to execute stuff, just think of all the things. No. All of it came back to me.

I had a special instrument drafted as her agent to carry out legal obligations. Except for the sale and transfer of real property I could act independently. I did not without consulting her ever. But quite frankly, well, I am I did that. I am glad I found this forum. I can't put her in charge of my chit, nor her daughter, prob not her son.

This has kept me awake and stopped me from doing these damn documents which I need to do!

Oh my gosh thank you. By back up, you mean what exactly, if not too personal to ask.

Segoline, we have our attorneys law firm as our back up. We require certain criteria be met before they can step in and we have our desires in writing. We don't want anyone making decisions, we know what we want, we just want someone that has nothing to gain or lose telling the powers that be.

I am completely convinced that someone not emotionally involved can do a better job following instructions that we decided on while healthy and of sound mind.