What happens financially when someone goes to assisted living or nursing home?

Was your dad a veteran? If your mom is in assisted living she may qualify for Aid and Attendance benefits. Contact your local VA for information and to help with application of your mom is eligible. Also...find out if your state still has a Filial Responsibility Law on the books. If it does then you and your siblings may be responsible for your Mom's care and/or costs if she is not eligible for Medicaid yet. Many states have repealed this archaic law but many still have it on the books.

Medicaid is federally funded but each state has basic rules to follow but can institute their own.

If Mom will need more care, an AL is private pay. Where I live, if you pay privately at least two years Medicaid may pay for the care. Depends on if the AL excepts it, if they do, if they have reached the % of Medicaid residents they allow.

If Mom needs LTC, any money she has will go to her care, when gone, then Medicaid can be applied for.

I would tell siblings that if Mom lives long with this disease her money will be used for her care. So just figure there will be nothing left to inherited.

If you review the website below may answer some of your initial questions. We will all spend more for health care as we get older - your siblings included. Maybe they have not started this chapter in their lives. Mom either does or does not need to spend all her money on herself. If she does not need her money, whatever estate remains is split among you.

Nursing homes will usually tell prospective family members what the local cost is for private vs. shared room. In my state it's around $6,500.00/mo or $78K/yr. What your mom pays for aides is the best as it can ever get for her situation - as long as she is able to stay home.

A website http://seniorliving.org, provides an overall financial comparison for aides, nursing homes, memory care, among other things. Click on the state Mom lives in. If you scroll down the site there is some explanation of the types of care and how people pay for that care. After reviewing the site, you might want to tell siblings to review as well.

the answer really depends on her finances and assets. If she has any, they will be used to pay for her care. When they are gone, or if she has none, she can apply for Medicaid.
Once on Medicaid, all her income will go to the AL or LTC. She won’t be able to pay any debts, her mortgage if she has one. Now Medicaid in some states does not pay for assisted living. There are some states where there is a Medicaid waiver but it doesn’t cover the entire cost of AL. Also in some states. AL’s don’t take Medicaid.

if she applies for Medicaid, there will be a 5 year look back on her finances and assets.