My mom is 67. I make sure her bills are paid. I take her to get groceries weekly. I make her meds for the week. I spend every Saturday with her. She messes up and takes too many med doses in one day, or she'll walk down to the dumpster and clean up , or she'll trim the bushes, or she'll eat 12 mini apple pies in one day...drives me crazy sometimes...then I feel guilty for getting upset with her because she doesn't listen. I'm just scared she's going to hurt herself worse than she already has. Getting so hot outside working, no strength to get up if she gets on her knees, lose her balance anyway..being exhausted makes it worse...she's hard headed!
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Is she still safe to be living alone? That is what you need to determine. Eating 12 apple pies in one day doesn't seem shocking, they're tiny. Sometimes we have to let them do what they want until a hospital visit changes everything.
It is difficult to watch, but we can't force anything. Just suggest.
Have you checked into a pill dispenser that won't let her take any more than it spits out? That would be my biggest concern. I saw the damage mismanaged meds did to my dad and how well he did on well managed meds.
If she is able, I purchased a garden aid that is a bench, turn it over and you can kneel on it and it has side bars to help you get up. Very stable, I love it.
I hope she decides that she needs to be more mindful of outdoor activities in the heat and it's not a battle royal for you.
For my Dad, with his request, he wanted a caregiver to be with him during the day, it just made him feel better knowing he wasn't alone. If Dad went out to do yard work, the caregiver was out there with him helping with the yard work. She enjoyed doing that of chore. The caregiver was from a caregiving Agency, and it was a perfect match. The cost was sticker shock, but Dad saved for this rainy day.
I know what your Mom is going through with losing her balance doing yard work, or even house work. I am in my early 70's, and I find I can only do 15-20 minutes of work compared to 8 hours that I could do a decade prior. How I loved playing in the dirt, but those days are over. Trying to stand up from a squating position is now a major challenge. Now I need to pay someone else to do that work, and when the weather is hot, the cost is well worth it :)
Oh, groceries. I use to take my late Mom grocery shopping but I had to set boundaries... one store and one store only. No running to store #2 because peanut butter was on sale, and store #3 because of a 2 for 1 sale on something. Eventually it became too tiring for both of us.
I started to use on-line grocery shopping and that was a Godsend for me. Mom didn't like that much, she thought the food "tasted funny" even though it was the same identical brand named product that were in the grocery store. It was funny, any time Mom would talk about the person who picked out the items at the warehouse, it was always a "she". The picker could have been a big burly guy for all we knew :)
ADVERTISEMENT
You will find you're not the only "only" child. Welcome!