We just did a $5000 remodel. Bars bigger stall. She still refuses. She has dementia. But her reason is nobody tells me when I bathe. Advice?

Thank you All.. at this point, we're doing sponge baths. & segmenting each body parts.

All those disposable wipes are nice, but a washcloth and a sink full of soapy water (or better yet a no rinse solution) is all that is needed for daily cleaning. Since she really should bathe/shower at least weekly I would try hiring a bath aide, they can often get compliance when family can not, plus there would be no arguing that it can be put off til tomorrow because there will be a set schedule.

I agree with @Freqflyer, once a week bathing is usually enough. You can even make your own cleansing wipes using washes, oils and creams that work best on her skin. Another approach to bathing is to bathe in segments (spa days). Hair one day, feet and legs the next, upper body etc. Treat each one like a spa day treat. Do as much of the bathing as possible sitting down. A bath bench in the shower, a zero gravity chair etc can be helpful. If she likes pampering then a nice comfy robe and slippers, a foot bath, a damp towel warmer, and a hand held spray adapter for the bath are all nice, inexpensive luxuries. Those who are overwhelmed and exhausted by the whole bathing process seem to do well with a flexible approach. Letting her watch a show that demonstrates spa treatments similar to what you will be doing helps too. Good luck, the hygiene wars are battles to be chosen with care.

Clou1313, when it comes to bathing as one gets older, one has to realize that jumping into the shower is no easy task as we age. I am only in my 70's, and after showering it feels like I had a workout at the gym :P Then the blow drying of my hair, my arms are exhausted.

Another issue that tends to develop in some older folks, is claustrophobia. That happens to me, I need to keep the shower doors open a couple of feet. Never had that problem when I was younger. Even a larger shower wouldn't really help me. It's mind over matter.

And let's not forget fear of falling. Hair conditioners and/or moisturizing shower soap can make the floor or shower mat slippery. Then there is all the movement that one does in the shower, a person can feel lightheaded when they are older. Then throw in Dementia into the mix.

More than a half century ago, I remember when Saturday night was bath night. So unless Mom is doing hard labor in the mines or digging ditches, does she need to shower daily or every other day? In-between times use baby wipes, more so being that your Mom is incontinent.