Does anyone’s live in father in law do things that seem creepy?

Thanks everyone. It sure felt creepy. And I realize I do need to handle myself and address directly with FIL when things happen because for some odd reason my hubby won’t deal with this. Most times he says oh it’s just a joke. It doesn’t happen frequently ( the inappropriate behavior) but it does take me by surprise. Thank goodness for this forum It helps so much on dealing with caregiving, burnout and a number of issues I try to handle daily.

On the creepy scale that seems small to me, Maybe he was confused by the toothpick? My dad would have been confused. They never ate apps on a toothpick. always fingers or forks. Poor dad would have tried to eat the toothpick! My Dad in ALZ land thought my niece and several of my daughters friends were "hot for him".. now that was creepy!
MAybe next time put several on a plate and show him how to eat them. ALZ is a weird disease..

You are going to have to say something when he crosses the line.

Find something that you are comfortable saying and start enforcing your boundaries.

I had to tell a filthy old geezer one time that if he didn't get his hand off me he would be drawing back a bloody stump. He knew by my tone, my body language and the angle of my hand that I wasn't repeating myself. Males have some really inappropriate ideas about harrassment of women being acceptable as long as they don't grab certain areas of our bodies or say certain words, time to educate him that he is not living with a woman that will accept being treated inappropriately, ever.

You can't count on your husband, so buck up and speak up to protect your space and person.

I remember a previous post of yours in which you said your FIL, in so many words, has taken over your home and lives. You say nothing about dementia. I suspect he is the sort who, when given an inch, takes a mile. And that your husband is perfectly content to let him do so. It’s sad to read that nothing has changed.

Encouraging you to put food in his mouth is waaaaay beyond gross. Double, triple, quadruple yuuuuk! I can’t believe you actually did it. And then allowed your man to simply shrug and get away with saying “oh, well...”

Where is your self-respect, girl?! Why have you you allowed this person to take over your home, turn you into his personal servant, allow you no privacy and now it sounds like he might be grooming you for what he hopes will be some fun times. And what the heck is your husband so afraid of with his father? Being turned over Dad’s knee? Come on! Stop accepting this old fertz cruddy behavior. We all told you that before. Stand up for yourself and the next time the old lech does something like that, put on your biker chick face and tell him to back off or you’re going to tie a knot in it.

It may have been a misunderstanding, or perhaps he was confused. If your FIL has Dementia, his thinking may be "off", so next time he does something weird, just try redirecting him towards doing the appropriate thing, and chalk it up to his "awkwardness". Now if he is doing things that truly make you feel strange, then ask your husband to talk with him about it, as it is important to nip these things in the bud, before they get out of hand. There is no reason why you should have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable in your own home.

Me, I would have told him he is a big boy, he can feed himself then hand it to him. It could be the start of something, but I wouldn't play into it.