My husband has vascular dementia and I am baffled and overwhelmed. Help!

As dementia of any type progresses, it affects different area of brain. My mom got added vascular by hospice in last month and a half prior to her passing. Reading symptoms, I thought all along she had. But I am not a medical professional.

My mom passed June 4th of mixed dementia. Vascular added. In the very old, mixed is common.

Sometimes my mother is lucid and other times she's operating in another world. Sometimes her language is fine, other times she can't string a few words together to create a sentence. She is able to be chatty and humorous......so she gives the illusion of being fine. Dementia is a terrible roller coaster of ups and downs and it's hard to know WHAT to expect. Read up on the subject as much as possible so you will be prepared for certain eventualities. Also closely monitor any new meds he may be prescribed for ANY reason, as they can affect the dementia. My mother was using a Scopolamine patch for vertigo and holy cow, she was babbling incoherently! Also be aware that towards sundown, they tend to worsen.
Brest of luck as you navigate this difficult road, my friend

I truly understand.
Although the illness does not necessarily get better, there are tactics used to help you go through the daily activities of living as pertaining to him. Encourage him to keep a journal. He can log what he is thinking of or saying at that time. You can even offer to scribe for him. Just giving them the sense of inclusiveness goes a long way. Involve him in activities that he used to love and relate to in a positive way.
Keep familiar and most loved pictures, clothes, objects, trophies, and items around that strike joy! I know it's not easy. There are support classes offered within Sheltering Arms, Area Council on Aging, Care Connections, Alzheimer's Association, Catholic Charities, United Way, and local places of worship.

Eloise1943, what you describe is similar to my mom with VD. Sometimes she comes up with info no one else knows like a brainiac, but most of the time, nothing. Took her to dinner last night and she thought the white painted lines on the parking lot walkway was a fence and she was trying to walk around it!
Sometimes she will say she does not feel like herself and does not know what's wrong with her...we assume she is having mini strokes and feels foggy. She has no motivation and cannot make decisions. At the restaurant she always wants to order what I do...making a choice is overwhelming to her.
Keep reading up on VD and be prepared for almost anything, including him bringing up issues from the past and dealing with them like they just happened. My poor dad has been the brunt of my mom's wrath for his behavior 60 years ago. It is a very unpredictable and ever changing disease.
Good luck to you. Hugs.

Sending you caring thoughts. I am also dealing with my mother who has vascular dementia. The rapid fluctuations are difficult to deal with. It has progressed in my mother's case to the point she has no ability to make and make new memories and has forgotten much of her past. She developed hallucinations, paranoia and sleep disturbances that made it difficult for our family to care for her, particularly as many of my siblings are also working full-time. While I provided the bulk of the care, with 24 hours of paid help in week, it was becoming more difficult for me as well . Are family provided meals for over 3 years and then 2 1/2 years of 24/7 care in her home. After a recent illness and hospitalization and current stay in a SNF, we made the difficult decision to move her to a memory care center. Keeping her safe has been our priority and with this, ensuring some happiness in her life. Because she no longer recognized her own home or us on many days, we felt it was time. The toll on us the caregivers was great. It is hard work taking care. I would encourage you to get support, both social and physical for his care and yours. The Alzheimers Association and the area agency on aging are great starting points. While I had a long career in geriatric nursing, it is still very difficult. My role as a daughter and "older sibling" comes first in this situation.

I think it's in the normal range for the dementia to be kind of a roller coaster.

It is a bit confusing to the caregiver but I guess you kind of need to just let it flow and deal with what happens as it comes along. Since you have no control over it anyhow.

Good luck!

Call these people! -

Northwest Florida Area Agency on Aging
https://www.nwflaaa.org/
Consumers, families and caregivers can access the Aging and Disability Resource Center by calling the Elder Helpline at 1.850.494.7100 or 1.866.531.8011.

- and tell them just what you've told us. They are your First Aid resource, then please come back and tell us more about what's happening. Hugs to you.