Well crap, I'm back lol. Am I doing him more harm than good?

Lacey
Joann has a very good point about the visits being for you and not your Dad. That doesn’t mean they don’t count. Of course they do. Any living thing does better when it’s tended. But that includes you as well. Life is symbiotic. Each person is important. Dad’s needs are being met as well as our society can meet them.
You are responsible to see that your needs are met. One of those being to check on your father but you have other needs that you must tend to that have nothing to do with him.
When you asked your dad that question it was a layer of guilt you were placing on yourself. Have a wonderful visit each time and go about your life knowing you are a good daughter and that you are loved.

Why would you even offer something that is almost impossible to deliver? Of course he wants you every day, although I don't doubt that he is often perfectly content while you are away and sometimes can't remember when you were there last. Part of getting old is having to give up being the master of your own fate and living with increasing physical and mental deterioration, and there is nothing that can be done to reverse that reality.

Your father has Dementia. Not sure if any don't have some form of depression especially when they realize something is wrong but there is no fix. Hopefully, he will forget your question because it seems that you can't visit everyday. Where is Dad in his journey? You realize this will only worsen and you will not be able to care for him. Personally, I would not want to care for any man but my husband.

How long has he been at the VA? (Not able to click on previous messages at this time) If recent, you have to give him time. People who suffer from Dementia/ALZ do not adjust well to change.

This is what your Dad needs. He is safe, fed and cared for. I really doubt if he knows one day from the next. My Mom went to visit a SIL, my Aunt. On the way out, Mom passed her other SIL, my other Aunt, coming in. When SIL got to her sister's room, she said "I just saw Peggy. Did u have a nice visit" My Aunt says "Peggy wasn't here". If your father's short term is shot, he won't know if u have been there or not. What it comes down to is, your visits are more for you than him. So don't wear yourself out and spend money you don't have. Visit when u can.

Lacey, we can't EVER be responsible for the happiness of another human being.

Your dad has had a stroke. Strokes often affect brain chemistry. Has he been seen by a psychiatrist to evaluate for depression? Antidepressant meds HELP!

You should not destroy your life, livelihood, career and future to visit dad every day. He has caregivers. There are activities.

Please, advocate for your dad to get the care he needs.