Why is my husband picking on me when I visit?

You may be the only person he feels safe "picking on". He is a strange (to him) place full of strange (to him) people where he cannot even trust his own senses, memory or thinking yet dependent on these strangers for his food and care. When his anchor (you) arrives, he relieves some of his anxiety by telling you about his problems. He is angry that he has to deal with these strangers and this strange place. He is angry that he has to stay and you get to leave. He doesn't understand why he NEEDS to stay and NEVER will because his ability to reason and/or to remember a reasoned conversation is gone. The anger is his broken brain talking, not the person you have known and loved for years. When you emotionally get to the point you can see the disease or broken brain talking and not your LO, this will be easier to endure.

As usual, FF is spot on. My husband doesn’t have ALZ, but I almost walked out of his room at the rehab hospital yesterday. I handle all his affairs, but when a doctor, therapist or other staff member comes in the room and asks questions he has no idea of the answers to, he will interrupt and talk over everything I have to say. I think it makes him feel he is still in control.

I take a deep breath, remember how much I love him and how emasculated he must feel having strangers come in and care for his personal hygiene, and then go on with the visit.

cherylmcnich, I see from your profile that your hubby has Alzheimer's/Dementia and such memory issues can create all types of different issues. Thus, try to remember when hubby is picking on you, it is the dementia talking, not him.

So sorry you are going through this. Also, when hubby's brain is in the here and now, he may resent that he needs to deal with all of his medical issues, and you are able to come and go when visiting. I assume he is now living in senior facility, correct?