I need help finding care for my friend?

Does this man live with u or on his own?

On his own, he is considered a person at risk and APS can step right in. If he is in ur home, may be a little more involved because he is safe.

I know u don't want to leave him at a hospital and walk away. He must have been a good family friend to do what u have but its just too much now.

I would run this by your Office of Aging or even Adult protection services. Have addresses and phone numbers of the children ready. A call from a legal agency maybe what is needed for them to take on the responsibility. Maybe not hands on care, but getting him set up in a LTC facility. If they want no involvement, then the state can file for guardianship.

Maybe trying to contact them first telling them Dad now needs more care than u can give and u have no authority to place him. If they don't step up to the plate, then call APS.

Is he living with you or are you caring for him in his own home? Is his memory loss so bad that he can't make his wishes known and appoint a MPOA/POA and make directives or does he have those legalities in place already and has family members appointed? Some of what can and can't do as well as should or probably shouldn't largely depends on some of these answers. Also you say his a long time friend of the family, are their other family members of your family helping and or willing to?

I would call 911 for the least little medical need, have him transported to the hospital. At this point you tell them that you are only a concerned friend, here is the contact information you have for his family and step back.

I know that seems heartless, but you are taking responsibility without authority and his family could turn your life upside down with one accusation. So stepping back and letting the system figure his care and placement out is really the safest and quickest way for him to receive help.

You can stay in touch and continue to advocate for him once he is placed, he will need that because his family will be gone once they aren't being forced to take care of him.

Hugs! What a rotten situation for him and you.

Fancy, even if your friend’s family in uninvolved, unless you have Power of Attorney or guardianship for him, you do need to contact them. Because you are not related to him, even though you’ve been caring for him, there are legalities and financial obligations that must be dealt with by his own family. If he needs more care than you are able to provide, he need to go to a facility, where they can provide care for him around the clock. You will need access to his personal financial information to arrange payment for this care and would need this even if you wanted to arrange for home health care for him. You can’t do this unless you have Power of Attorney or guardianship for him.

Takkng care of a stroke patient and a child with special needs is impossible for one person. Send his family a letter or call them if you have their numbers. Send the letter “return receipt requested” so you know they got it. If they don’t respond, you may have to call Adult Protective Services for help.