Sorry, Elder Attorney is thrown around a lot. On another post, an EA wants 18k, 9k upfront. They aren't cheap.
If Dad sells his house it has to be at Market Value. I would get it appraised. I was talked out of this by my realtor. She said she could get comparisons. Problem, my Moms house was in need of lots of repairs. What the township felt it was worth and what it really was was two different things. Once it sells, the money should be put in an acct for His care only. No gifts given, no loans made....his care. If Dad ever needs Medicaid, they will want to see how his money was spent.
Your profile days that Dad is in an Independent living. Why do you want to move him? Does he need more care? If so, why not sell the house and place him in an AL? He will have people and activities.
Its very hard to bring a parent into your home. It really depends on the personalities involved. You have to realize there are spouses involved. There have been posts where a son brings his parent to live with him and expects the wife to do the caring. Even when the parent is a male. One person brought her Mom from another state not realizing she had declined much more than she realized. A number regret bringing a parent to live with them and now they are stuck because the parent is capable of making their own decisions and won't move out. Think carefully before you make that decision.
The person caring for Dad needs the POAs. So be very careful whose hands you place Dad.
Legal issues are best handled by an attorney who knows trusts and estates and elder law. Selling his house and ensuring that the money is available to him for the rest of his life is best handled by an accountant and financial planner. Emotional issues are the tough void because every family is different. If your father is religious, talking with a spiritual advisor can help.
Your profile says your father lives in independent living. Why is he considering leaving that arrangement?
As for moving in with one of his 3 children, I would caution against rushing into that. Inevitably, the one child shoulders significantly more of the burden - and caregiving can quickly become a burden - and can become resentful and burned out. Then what are you going to do?
Caregiving never goes as planned, and your father's needs will only increase as he gets older and whatever ails him gets worse.
Legal issues: absolutely find an elder attorney! I have read enough stories on this site about kids getting "stuck" with parents who become overwhelming, with no way to change the living situation. I'm not sure how my attorney would handle it, but he said if we ever think about doing that to give him a call. He will draw up paperwork for us that would prevent us being able to stay if we become too much of a burden for any children we might live with.
An elder lawyer can also provide you with answers to questions that you don't even know yet, like setting up a trust, qualifying for medicaid, getting papers in order, etc.
Emotional issues: I agree with the previous poster to read what you can on this site!
What kind of legal advice? The money that comes in from the sell of the house, be diligent about planning for MediCaid in the future. Someone might can help you more if you give more details, BUT if you want absolute, legal & sound advice, you need an elder care attorney.
As for emotional advice, lots of good listeners & good advice can be found here from people who’ve been through this.
An elder attorney would be a good start, all kinds of caveats depending on the state you reside in. As for the emotional issues, keep reading around here, lots of great information.
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If Dad sells his house it has to be at Market Value. I would get it appraised. I was talked out of this by my realtor. She said she could get comparisons. Problem, my Moms house was in need of lots of repairs. What the township felt it was worth and what it really was was two different things. Once it sells, the money should be put in an acct for His care only. No gifts given, no loans made....his care. If Dad ever needs Medicaid, they will want to see how his money was spent.
Your profile days that Dad is in an Independent living. Why do you want to move him? Does he need more care? If so, why not sell the house and place him in an AL? He will have people and activities.
Its very hard to bring a parent into your home. It really depends on the personalities involved. You have to realize there are spouses involved. There have been posts where a son brings his parent to live with him and expects the wife to do the caring. Even when the parent is a male. One person brought her Mom from another state not realizing she had declined much more than she realized. A number regret bringing a parent to live with them and now they are stuck because the parent is capable of making their own decisions and won't move out. Think carefully before you make that decision.
The person caring for Dad needs the POAs. So be very careful whose hands you place Dad.
Your profile says your father lives in independent living. Why is he considering leaving that arrangement?
As for moving in with one of his 3 children, I would caution against rushing into that. Inevitably, the one child shoulders significantly more of the burden - and caregiving can quickly become a burden - and can become resentful and burned out. Then what are you going to do?
Caregiving never goes as planned, and your father's needs will only increase as he gets older and whatever ails him gets worse.
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An elder lawyer can also provide you with answers to questions that you don't even know yet, like setting up a trust, qualifying for medicaid, getting papers in order, etc.
Emotional issues: I agree with the previous poster to read what you can on this site!
As for emotional advice, lots of good listeners & good advice can be found here from people who’ve been through this.