I live with Mom (88) who's having a problem accepting that she doesn't get around like she used to. How do I suggest she use cane or walker?

Gigi, two issues:

1.  Malpractice attorneys.    I haven't worked in this area of law for decades, but at that time the standard was for a med/mal attorney to order medical records and have them reviewed by a noted practitioner in the field.   If that doctor didn't find evidence of malpractice, the attorney would not consider instituting suit, unless he/she was one of the less scrupulous ones.

Good attorneys didn't consider filing a suit if they couldn't find medical practitioners to support the claim of negligence.   In some states, a supporting medical opinion may actually be mandatory to initiate suit.

So, first check the listing of the State Bar and see if it categorizes attorneys by practice areas.   Then check out the websites of those med/mal firms, determine how much experience they have (you can usually check the State Bar directly as well since it indicates when the attorney began practicing).   

Then contact the various attorneys, provide background information and/or send it, and ask for their opinion on whether or not negligence actually exists.

I am sorry to learn of the eye problems, and I know that just complicates life even further.   But make sure you have a claim or you'll be very disappointed (and you WILL have to reimburse the attorney for records ordered.)


2.   As to a walker or cane, get a physical therapist's advice on which is better.  Canes do not provide the stability of a walker, but a walker also doesn't provide the stability of a rollator.   You can research to see the difference.    It really depends first on what level of support your mother needs.

Each can be decorated to induce compliments from others.  That helps mitigate the stigma of using an assistive device.

I knew someone who painted flowers on canes, which can be decorated in other ways that don't interfere with use.   A walker can have a basket, also decorated with lovely flowers.   Same with a rollator.   The beauty of the flowers is the attention and admiration they draw.

If you can turn these needs into complimentary situations, your mother can feel better about using them.

I wish you luck with these challenges.

There are malpractice lawyers in every town. Columbia SC has a population of 130,000+. You should be able to find more than one! Start with looking for a personal injury attorney and go from there.

What you do is advise her of what can happen if she continues to be stubborn and refuse to use her walker or cane. When she falls and breaks a hip or something else, it’s all over. My dad did this to us..and when he finally took the big fall, he broke his back and had to go into rehab, and from there to LTC. Now he tells me he wishes he had listened... I do too, but I begged and bought canes and such for him and he would not do it...
And it may come down to you let her continue to have her way and she takes the consequences of her actions and attitudes. I know I sound mean, but it is simply a coping mechanism for myself...I can only change myself. Same applies to you..I wish you luck, it is a difficult path we are all on.

Sorry to hear about your Mum's health problems.

My Mum won't listen to me - but she listens better when a Doctor or Nurse tells her! Or Physiotherapist.

Has your Mum seen a Physio? Then you can 'blame' the Physio! "Mum, John the Physio said he wants you to practice using your walker".