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vasdem Asked July 2019

My husband's doctor would not answer my question about why he died rapidly after diagnosis of vascular dementia. Who should I talk to?

Three weeks, after what I call supervised neglect, my husband died. The doctor forced me to use hospice at home rather than in a nursing home. It was very traumatic to watch him die plus having to tend to his physical needs It seemed the hospice nurses had little training in what to say and or not say to a new widow. They added to my grief.

gladimhere Jul 2019
Home hospice is not 24/7 care. Nursing home has many residents to care for, so wouldn't be 24/7 either. The only way to receive 24/7 is to hire an agency with three shifts of caregivers. Did he want to die at home? Did you want him to die at home? Perhaps he had another stroke and if on hospice they will not treat it.

I am sorry for your loss.

NYDaughterInLaw Jul 2019
You have my sympathy on the death of your husband. I see on your profile that your late husband had had a stroke. Many people who have one stroke have another. What was it about the hospice care that your husband received that you found "supervised neglect"? What was the diagnosis that qualified your husband for hospice?

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anonymous912123 Jul 2019
So very sorry about your husband. I really don't understand how you could be forced into home care by a doctor, this is not the doctors decision, it is yours. When my husband was dying I moved him into one of our rental properties and hired a full time nurse. The last week I placed him in Hospice, all my decisions. As for about why he died, I would request his medical records, if the doctor does not immediately supply them, go to an attorney.

Isthisrealyreal Jul 2019
You can request his medical records and have them reviewed.

Sometimes they just don't know why someone died so suddenly. It is difficult to not know.

I am sorry for your loss. Hugs!
hockeymom1970 Jul 2019
If they don't know, they should at least tell vasdem they don't know! I think it is weird how bad they are at communicating.

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