I’m medical POA for my mother, sister financial POA. Both my mother and sister have narcissistic tendencies. My mother has plenty of money (1/2 a mil in the bank) but lately my sister has refused to allow her to buy small things she wants ie a large numbered clock. She’s in a nice ALF that’s maybe $500 a month more than some others, higher end but not ridiculously so and my sister constantly complains it’s not worth it. In reality they are great, go out of the way to care for my mother who can be difficult to say the least. Now she wants me to stop an expensive medication she is on. I question how much it’s helping her truthfully but refuse to stop it until and if her dr agrees it’s not helping (it helps her get nutrition from her food, she literally was dying from malnutrition before she started it although she also was not in a facility and not eating meals we took her, she’s since moving to a facility and starting the meds roughly the same time, gained about 10-12 lbs but loses and regains 5 lbs pretty consistently)
I'm not sure what’s going on here. My BIL is ill so maybe they are low on money, was never the case before.
I don’t really know if I should go to an attorney but what can they do? I am not on her bank accounts although my daughter is so she can monitor them. I don’t think anything is missing.
It's just weird my sister being cheap to the point of angering my mother (who always has shopped) when it’s not really needed but the cheapness as to her care is concerning me.
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What does your BIL being ill and them being low on money have to do with Mom’s medication?
Mom shops. Ok. Does she hoard? Is her shopping out of control for things she doesn’t need? Is that what angers Sister?
You say Mom has $500,000 in the bank. She’s in a high-end facility and self-paying. Believe it or not, Mom could outlive her money. Doesn’t seem like it now, but it could happen.
Before you engage an attorney, have a calm and non-accusatory meeting with your sister and your daughter. Put your suspicions aside and listen to what she has to say. Once you are aware of her side of what’s going in, things may change. If you don’t get the answers you are seeking, then it’s time to get help finding out what’s going on. But be aware if you do enlist the services of an attorney, bridges will be burned that cannot be rebuilt.
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