I have been looking at facilities for the last several months to find the right one for my 92 year old mom with moderate dementia, confined to a wheelchair but still pretty healthy. Found what I thought was the perfect place: nice home setting, about 10 residents, and one block from where I live. Have visited several times. Good vibes. However I visited for the first time tonight. Got the scoop from the overnight aide who says staff is great except for 1 daytime person who is lazy and sleeps. No one likes her. They have complained to the owner who is now considering moving her to a night shift where she will be the only staff person onsite. I have met this person twice and did not like her. Told owner she is unfriendly. Owner said she is shy. Aide I talked to tonight said that's BS. So I'm happy I got the straight scoop tonight. But now having second thoughts about a placement that seemed just about perfect. Help!
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I have always learned to go with my gut. Overall as I mentioned, the vibe at this place is good. Maybe I can just outwait this staffer before placing my mom as she has only been there a couple months and probably won't last long. :)
These caregivers are subjected to A LOT of nonsense A LOT of the time. Your gal in question may be shy, she may be exhausted, or she may be burned out and looking for another job. If you like the place, don't let one caregiver change your mind. Go by how the place in general makes you feel. The caregivers are only temporary.
Best of luck!
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I would think that is all that matters.
You never know if she is standoffish because she gets attached and she is worn out from loving and losing people or maybe she is caring for a sick loved one at home. I would bring her a treat and say, let's talk. Then ask her what you can expect from her and how she would like you to help so that mom is getting the best care possible. Sometimes people have harder lives then we can imagine and they have been marginalized by families so much that they protect themselves.
Just a different take. My dads caregivers were chatty kathy and babbling bob and were the worst caregivers, but boy could they socialize. They had a girl come in every now and then that you thought she was a deaf mute, but she worked and took care of everyone. Something to consider.
I mean, obviously I couldn't possibly know who's right, but I wouldn't spoil a relationship with a good facility - which must mean good management, because that's where it begins and ends - because one member of the team has fallen out with another member of the team.
What don't you yourself like about this aide? How does your mother respond to her?
You did find out a lot about the home, though, that fact being that it’s not much of a team effort there if staff are willing to throw their colleague under a bus.
You can’t possibly know if they are telling the truth. I wonder why staff would even tell you that as if that was a concern the staff person complaining should bring that behavior to the attention of management. Don’t be manipulated.
What about the residents there? Do they look like they are getting good care? Are they fed if they need it? Ratio of CG to residents? That’s the important stuff.
You didn’t “get the scoop”, you got the opinion of a disgruntled employee giving her/his side of the story.