How can I get my grandmother to close her front door?

I suggest you get grandma's mental status evaluated ASAP.

If she is incompetent, then you can gain guardianship and make some safety choices for Grandma. Sounds like Grandma needs some level of supervision and support, either in the home or in a nice AL.

If she is still competent, then your choices are more limited. Perhaps it would be easier to talk Grandma into someone coming into the house for a few hours night and morning to set the house to rights so at least she is living in a clean and healthy setting.

I recommend hiring an aide to stay the night with her. The aide will clean up and shut the doors and allow her to stay in her own home longer.

Other ideas: would a reminder from Alexa work? Can you use a security system or technology to lock the doors and have an app that would allow you to check to make sure it’s still locked? I’m not that technical, but someone else on the forum had written about doing this and that made caring for her LO who lived a distance away so much easier. What about installing a spring on the door so that it automatically shuts?

Maybe you need to tell her that if she continues leaving her doors open and not doing the basics to care for herself on her own someone other than family is going to take notice and let officials know. When that happens it's going to be out of your hands and she may not be allowed to live on her own anymore. Put it on "other officials" and neighbors/service people rather than pitting her against you in how she should live and if she should be living on her own.

I used to live next door to an elderly woman who constantly opened the door for strangers and it concerned me. She was the sweetest old lady. I just loved her.

I told her daughter about it. She lived with her daughter. Her daughter worked full time and couldn’t be around for her mom.

She said she has told her mom not to open the door to strangers. Kept happening where she did not lock the door and opened it up to strangers.

My neighbor’s son moved in with them. He lost his job and needed temporary housing. I told him about his grandma and he assured me that grandma would not open the door while he was home. I was relieved that he was there with her.

Tell someone. She may need help. She may have cognitive issues. You are sweet to be concerned.

Frustrating though it may be for those with her best interests in mind, it matters very much what the OP's grandmother wants because as things stand, she is a consenting adult and can choose for herself how she wishes to live. The family is nowhere near the point where they can enforce safer choices.

Scrubtech, where did you move your grandmother *from*, and how long ago exactly?

Ditto to all below who see that your LO can't live on her own. It no longer matters what she wants, as it's apparent her own safety isn't something she wants...and that's not logical. Plus you will be spending a lot of time fretting about her and that takes a toll on everyone. Someone needs to start making decisions that are in her best interests.

Can someone go with her on next doc visit to have her assessed for cognitive decline? She may also have an untreated UTI which can be treated with antibiotics and her dementia-like symptoms may clear up. Big life changes (like moving) can be disorienting to the elderly, but not sure your LO is going to recover. Start with a medical assessment if at all possible. Results may drive future decisions on her behalf.

Well for a start you might as well turn the AC off. If she is going to leave the doors open no matter what you say, there is zero point in trying to condition all the air in the whole atmosphere of Arizona.

Any idea why she does this habitually? Is she not used to how AC works, and thinks that if there isn't a good healthy draught she'll never get cool?

You clearly will not be able to get through to her. You could not in the past when she lived with feces in her home; she likely is not any stronger mentally. She is living an unsafe life in an unsafe environment. She should have placement now for her own safety. You will know in your heart there is no other choice because I am certain that over the last years many things have been "tried". So sorry. But this isn't safe.

She can’t live on her own anymore. She may want to live alone, but she doesn’t realize she cannot. Let her be mad at you... there is no other option but a NH.

My cousin had to move his father from AZ to UT, The weather in AZ is brutal so much of the year. Poor man had walked shirtless out to look at his trailer in the storage facility, tripped and fell on the asphalt. No shirt on, of course, b/c it's 110 degrees. But the time someone found him, he had 2nd and 3rd degree burns from laying on the ground, on his chest and legs. maybe, 15 minutes?


He, too was living in completely hoarded out conditions and his sons simply swept in, had him declared incompetent and pretty much just had his trailer-home hauled to the trash.

They found he, too, had been living with the windows and doors open night and day and neighbors were keeping an eye on him. (Really?)

He had plenty of money to have lived in comfort, but as a addicted smoker and drinker, his option were few. His family was estranged and hadn't seen him in years.

Lived his last couple of years in a lovely NH where he could smoke (he had to walk quite a ways from the home to get a smoke break, so that cut back)..dying finally of the complications of liver failure, lung cancer and the burns that never really healed.

I wish you luck. I know a lot of people in AZ choose to 'deal with the heat' in the spring/summer rather than pay for A/C and then gloat it over we who have to turn on the furnace in the winter.

Electric co bill assistance & daily visits to check on grannie, well imho, is putting a band-aid on a much much bigger problem.

She cannot live on her own.

If she has had a pattern of hoarding, it’s gonna come back. If she cannot be cognitive to put up food, she probably is also not cognitive to take medications as needed or maintain proper hygiene. If she can’t understand cause & effect on leaving doors open, then I bet she can’t understand using stove or microwave. I’ll bet she could not do a fire drill. All this combined with increasing dementia is a train wreck waiting to happen.

You all are lucky to be in AZ as AZ Medicaid has both AL & NH & in-home Care paid by Medicaid. I’d suggest that you or whomever is her DPOA contact your local Area on Aging to see how to get her onto Medicaid and into either AL or a NH for 24/7 oversight. Unless you are willing to have her move into your home and she gets on AZ in home caregiver Medicaid program & you all do whatever care & oversight beyond the hours Medicaid provides for.

There are a couple of folks on this forum from AZ, hopefully they can post their experience with their AZ elder adventure.