Mom is back home from SNF. What a nice break from the pull ups and diapers for three weeks, but break time is over now.
Mom mom wants to keep wearing pants and shoes in the house. She has accidents. Of course, I know that she can’t help it. But it’s exhausting!
She insists on pants. I told her no more. That if she wants me to help with toileting, she needs to ditch the pants and just do a gown or housecoat, easier than constantly pulling pants up and down to use her bedside commode.
She reluctantly agreed for two days. I went in her room this morning and she did something ridiculous. She had housecoat and pants on! I’m exasperated with her attitude.
She says she is more comfortable with her pants on. I said that I need to make it somewhat easier for me too. I hate these power struggles! Why can’t elderly parents be grateful to us by being agreeable in a pleasant way, instead of reluctantly?
She is just sitting in her room alone! Why does she need to be fully dressed? Shoes, compression stockings, socks, pants all have to be removed if she gets wet. I’m tired!
I buy the Assurance pull ups. I change them all the time because she can’t always make it to the commode. Any better pull ups out there? Grrrrr.
4 Answers
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Just a few things really get to me, you know, makes me very nervous.
Dressing her, toileting, and home health wants her to weigh on the hard surface tile floor, she can’t balance and I told home health nurse she will fall if she has nothing to hold onto. Why do they need her to weigh daily? They say fluid. What is that about? Weight fluctuates but not that much, does it? Is that really all that important?
They tell me that I have to let her try and do more alone but I can’t get over the fear of her falling. Last time she had staples in her head from a fall.
I don’t allow her to stand at sink anymore to brush her teeth. I give her water, toothpaste, toothbrush, bowl to rinse in her room. I’m afraid the nurse is going to tell me I am doing too much again. Seeing that blood in my mom’s white hair was so upsetting to me.
Tear (or cut) the used pullup down the sides and remove. Place the new, clean pullup front side up inside the pants down by the ankles. Grab the back left side of the pullup and push it down through the pant leg, over the top of the foot and toe then back around and up through the pant leg. One side done. Repeat with the right side.
(And I agree with what Ahmijoy said about the hem of the gown/dress getting in the way or worse dragging through the toilet/commode. But that's just me.)
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Im not sure how you could change a pull up without having to remove her pants, but maybe the tabbed briefs would be easier. With those, you wouldn’t need to undress her. I work in the baby room of a daycare and seldom remove the baby’s pants when changing them. I just pull their pants down to their ankles.
If you find that you’re changing her many times during the day, check her fluid intake. She may need to cut down on things like coffee, tea, juice. etc.
I won’t complain about pants, or do some days pants and some house coat. I personally feel house coat is easier. But I see what you mean about pulling up house coat verses pulling down pants. Parkinson’s effects those fine motor skills. It’s tough. She has fallen several times and that scares the hell out of me. She gets scared too. Just trying to figure out what is safest and easier for both of us.
She drinks a lot. Always has. When I have tried to reduce intake she says she needs that much.
There are extra long and absorbent pads that would be easier to change. And you shouldn't have to totally undress her to change the pull up unless it overflows (yes, it is possible to put on a new pull up without removing shoes and pants)
Possible? How? Please share your secret with all of us! Let us learn from your wisdom.
She did wear the long pads. I still have some but I thought pull ups were more absorbing. Am I wrong?
She goes to the bathroom a lot!
She’s little. Does that make a difference? I buy the smallest pull up, not the larger size.