At one point, my former MIL had gone two years without a bath or shower. I think that unfortunate pattern probably was interrupted when she started to receive hospice services. She is still alive, age 93, with Alzheimer's disease diagnosed 10 years ago.
Ydale, I am in my 70's and I have noticed for myself that taking a shower is like going to the gym, and here I use to be a gym rat for many years. It can be very exhausting for many seniors. Especially with your Mom having memory lost, mobility issues, etc.
Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your parent is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Then if the parent needs to blow dry their hair, that can be tiring on their arms.
Whew !!
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. I recently tried a new product called "Water Wipes" and was quite pleased, great to use inbetween showers :)
My friend has this issue with her MIL that lives with them. She doesn’t have dementia but refuses to shower. She does the sponge baths and hasn’t had any UTI’s. It puzzles me why this is common not to bathe. A shower makes us feel better.
Ydale 14, My husband quit wanting to shower, went three weeks (!) without one no matter what I tried! Called SPS for suggestions. " Legally you can't make him do anything!" was their retort. I too learned the "do not ask" way. I bought a shower chair & had bars installed in our walk in shower. He was angry, said he didn't need all that *^~T! Growled " Where's mycookies?" I fibbed that he was out of cookies & went back to my child raising days. "If you just try it I will get more cookies after." He rolled his eyes & just said ok. Thank God for small miracles. The first time was a bit of a struggle. "I can do it myself!" He said. ( After 40 yrs. married?) " Do you mind, I need my privacy !" I stood outside close by. 2 minutes later, " honeee, can you help me?" He couldn't/ forgot how to turn the water on. He liked the sitting down part although it was more comfortable with a small towel on it and asked that I wash his back, he'd get his front. 😊 Looked very pleased and happy after shower although he was very tired. Mayb that's why he had refused to shower before? Now it's shower time at least twice a week. I'll tell him the waters on, his towels & clean clothes are ready. Still reminds me " just showered yesterday", I remind him it's been 3 days, a week whatever comes out first. It's not easy caregiving for a LO & yes sometimes I get testy but I've learned to play nice and always pray for more patience. It works for me. My girls ask " mom, how do you do it!?" Only by the grace of God! 😇 🙏🏽🙏🏽s for a good report on another brain scan on hubby. Waiting on results. Hugs and blessings, Nanabinx
Ydale14, I'm assuming your mom is living with you? I'm also assuming the shower is senior-friendly: shower chair, hand rails, good lighting, etc.
This is a very common problem. Sometimes it helps to have someone else come it encourage them to bathe, like a private care person, another female relative, etc. In my family having a neighbor (who happens to work pt time in a care facility) come in once a week for $15 to get my 97-yo auntie with dementia into the shower has worked great.
Prior to that, her family caregiver would tell her they were going somewhere so she needed to get spruced up, which included a shower. For whatever reason that stopped working. I've noticed in my MIL's LTCF they don't pose it as a question (like "Don't you want to take a shower?") they come up with a choice (like, "It's time for your bath! Do you want bath salts this time?") They never act like bathing is an option. If nothing is working, your mom can get a sponge bath, hopefully.
Soon others will post their wisdom and creative solutions :-) Good luck!
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Another thing, some seniors become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. I know for myself, I need to keep the far door open a couple of feet.
Then there is the fear of falling. If your parent is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside.
Towel drying isn't easy. I find myself hopping around trying to get one foot and leg dry, can be a challenge. So easy to get one's feet tangled up in the towel.
Then if the parent needs to blow dry their hair, that can be tiring on their arms.
Whew !!
A parent doesn't need to shower daily, twice a week or once a week is good enough, unless they are doing hard labor. If a parent is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. I recently tried a new product called "Water Wipes" and was quite pleased, great to use inbetween showers :)
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Sorry you are going through this. Hugs.
I bought a shower chair & had bars installed in our walk in shower. He was angry, said he didn't need all that *^~T! Growled " Where's mycookies?" I fibbed that he was out of cookies & went back to my child raising days. "If you just try it I will get more cookies after." He rolled his eyes & just said ok. Thank God for small miracles. The first time was a bit of a struggle. "I can do it myself!" He said. ( After 40 yrs. married?) " Do you mind, I need my privacy !" I stood outside close by. 2 minutes later,
" honeee, can you help me?" He couldn't/ forgot how to turn the water on. He liked the sitting down part although it was more comfortable with a small towel on it and asked that I wash his back, he'd get his front. 😊 Looked very pleased and happy after shower although he was very tired. Mayb that's why he had refused to shower before? Now it's shower time
at least twice a week. I'll tell him the waters on, his towels & clean clothes are ready. Still reminds me " just showered yesterday", I remind him it's been 3 days, a week whatever comes out first. It's not easy caregiving for a LO & yes sometimes I get testy but I've learned to play nice and always pray for more patience. It works for me. My girls ask " mom, how do you do it!?" Only by the grace of God! 😇
🙏🏽🙏🏽s for a good report on another brain scan on hubby. Waiting on results.
Hugs and blessings,
Nanabinx
This is a very common problem. Sometimes it helps to have someone else come it encourage them to bathe, like a private care person, another female relative, etc. In my family having a neighbor (who happens to work pt time in a care facility) come in once a week for $15 to get my 97-yo auntie with dementia into the shower has worked great.
Prior to that, her family caregiver would tell her they were going somewhere so she needed to get spruced up, which included a shower. For whatever reason that stopped working. I've noticed in my MIL's LTCF they don't pose it as a question (like "Don't you want to take a shower?") they come up with a choice (like, "It's time for your bath! Do you want bath salts this time?") They never act like bathing is an option. If nothing is working, your mom can get a sponge bath, hopefully.
Soon others will post their wisdom and creative solutions :-) Good luck!