IF your mom is NOT incapacitated and is able to mentally function, your sister has no business doing ANYTHING with your mom’s money. BUT, assuming your mom isn’t fully functioning, there is a way the loan can be legal. Could a promissory note been written up & your brother signed an agreement, which you just don’t know about? Even in that case, the loan has to start being repaid within so many days (30?) and a nominal interest rate included in the pay back. Like said by other posters, you really, really need facts. No, I have not done this but an elder attorney said we could & explained it to us. We also know first hand what it’s like to be accused of doing something underhanded with Mom’s money when that wasn’t the case at all.
Yoga, where are you getting your information and how reliable is it?
The thing is, there are things you can do about it if you have reasonable grounds to suspect financial abuse, or misuse of a power of attorney. But not only will you not get very far with the relevant authorities if you say "could be" and "not sure" and so on, but bear in mind that you could be wrong - in which case you might be dropping a nuclear bomb on your family's relationships for nothing.
It is a worry, of course, and you are right to ask questions about it. You need to find out:
how sister is managing her POA responsibilities in general, and what tasks she has taken over for your mother so far; what payments have been made to brother, on whose authority, and on what basis.
Are you on good enough terms with your sister to have a constructive conversation with her?
Does your mother live independently? Or does she live with you, or you with her?
As others have already written, if you expect that at some point she will qualify for Medicaid, the 5-year lookback is very important.
What I have seen happen too frequently on these boards is that money is foolishly spent/loaned/given away, and then there is a Medicaid penalty because that money was spent/loaned/given away within the 5-year lookback period for Medicaid. At this point often the elder needs to go to a facility. But they have to wait out the penalty period somewhere...and unfortunately it's usually in a child's home. If your mother is already living with you (or you with her), then you are going to be the default 24/7 caregiver. So beware!
Actually CM, that may not be a stonking big mortgage, depending when he took it out, and the fact that property tax and insurance is now added to almost all mortgage payments by the lender. My DD bought a condo for 135, and with all the add ons her payment is over 1000 a month. If he is unemployed, or behind, that money could be $1000 a month to 'help". Home prices are awful these days. I agree what she is doing is wrong in all sorts of ways, but the mortgage may not be that big! Just the payment! And I would also be looking into the payback!
This is a difficult situation to figure out and resolve. My ex-husband is his parents' caregiver but is not their POA, as far as I know. He was added to his parents' bank account at his father's (former FIL's) request, for convenience purposes. Former FIL probably gave my ex some free rein to pay himself from the bank account. But now former FIL is having cognitive issues, so it's not clear that my ex still has the ability to engage in financial transactions using his parents' bank account, particularly paying himself. I'm obviously not in a position to become officially involved, but I have let my ex know that he might be on thin ice and that he should not be using his parents' money for things that aren't for them. His sister, who actually is the POA, could probably ask for an accounting, but she probably won't, because she wants to distance herself generally from the caregiving situation.
That’s to bad, your sister Is POA. There’s no way she would give you bank statements so you can see what’s really what? I understood that by Medicaid rules or law sis is supposed to give family an updated account of her finances. I’ve got the same thing going on. Does a neurologist say your Mom is of ‘Sound Mind & Body’? That’s what messed me up b/c my Mom is NOT. Meanwhile, I am her caregiver & only have medical POA. I’m pissed b/c I get NO help from siblings. NONE. & sis handles the finances?
Your mother is not incapacitated mentally? - or you think she is, at least badly enough not to be able to make financial decisions?
It really matters to nail this point down. Also consider: is it possible that your mother has given your sister permission to do this but doesn't want to admit it to you?
Depending on what your mother's resources and likely future healthcare needs are, you may also want to remind your sister about Medicaid's rules including the five-year lookback.
When you say "thousands of dollars" to help your brother with his mortgage payments.... that would be a stonking big mortgage. What exactly do you know about how much he has been lent, and when he is supposedly going to pay the money back?
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No, I have not done this but an elder attorney said we could & explained it to us. We also know first hand what it’s like to be accused of doing something underhanded with Mom’s money when that wasn’t the case at all.
Have you spoken directly to your sister about this?
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The thing is, there are things you can do about it if you have reasonable grounds to suspect financial abuse, or misuse of a power of attorney. But not only will you not get very far with the relevant authorities if you say "could be" and "not sure" and so on, but bear in mind that you could be wrong - in which case you might be dropping a nuclear bomb on your family's relationships for nothing.
It is a worry, of course, and you are right to ask questions about it. You need to find out:
how sister is managing her POA responsibilities in general, and what tasks she has taken over for your mother so far;
what payments have been made to brother, on whose authority, and on what basis.
Are you on good enough terms with your sister to have a constructive conversation with her?
As others have already written, if you expect that at some point she will qualify for Medicaid, the 5-year lookback is very important.
What I have seen happen too frequently on these boards is that money is foolishly spent/loaned/given away, and then there is a Medicaid penalty because that money was spent/loaned/given away within the 5-year lookback period for Medicaid. At this point often the elder needs to go to a facility. But they have to wait out the penalty period somewhere...and unfortunately it's usually in a child's home. If your mother is already living with you (or you with her), then you are going to be the default 24/7 caregiver. So beware!
I’ve got the same thing going on. Does a neurologist say your Mom is of ‘Sound Mind & Body’? That’s what messed me up b/c my Mom is NOT. Meanwhile, I am her caregiver & only have medical POA. I’m pissed b/c I get NO help from siblings. NONE. & sis handles the finances?
It really matters to nail this point down. Also consider: is it possible that your mother has given your sister permission to do this but doesn't want to admit it to you?
Depending on what your mother's resources and likely future healthcare needs are, you may also want to remind your sister about Medicaid's rules including the five-year lookback.
When you say "thousands of dollars" to help your brother with his mortgage payments.... that would be a stonking big mortgage. What exactly do you know about how much he has been lent, and when he is supposedly going to pay the money back?