In NH, mom 5 yr Colon CA survivor with ileostomy. Abdominal aortic aneurysm, triple cardiac vessel occlusion, emphysema has lost 30 lbs in 2 months. 2 appetite stimulants did nothing. Has been getting IV fluids daily for dehydration due to high ileostomy output and minimal oral fluid intake. She’s skin and bones. She entered Hospice 3 days ago. They cut the IV fluid volume in half and will stop completely in 4 more days. I’m scared. My family agrees with the Hospice plan, but I have read mixed reviews if this type of death is painful or not. How to ensure it’s not? My stomach is in knots!
Thank you everyone for your input.
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May God grant you grieving mercies and peace during this difficult time.
She is at peace.
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YOu know what they say: It is harder for us, the people left on Earth, than the people ascending up to Heaven,
I found a quick place to cremate mom A wonderful catholic church that was recommended to me. The father asked a couplwe of questions. Buried or cremeted? Cremeted.. In what bos is she in? Please don't tell me a Chrisimast Box?!!!! WELL....... Well, will please do it, it doesn't look so much like a Christmas Box does it?
He did the funeral for me. He was wonderful.
REMEMBER: EVEN DURING DEATH , YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE...DON'T EVEN TRY TO. DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT, AND GO FORWARD.
I lost dad in 1997, lost my FIL a number years ago, lost mil 5 years ago, lost my brother to early onset ALZ, 4 years ago, and lost my beautiful mom last year, with a few pets passing on within the range of time. It really sucked especially for my daughter. Sue she can handle college after all of this thrown at her in a sort of quick spurt of time.
MY ADVICE: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PLEASE EVERYONE. Let it go., SHE WILL GET TO PEACE IF EVERYONE ALLOWS HER TO EXPERIENCE IT, By that I mean, DO NOT BE MR DULL DRUM AND DRIRRY. Play her favorite movie, home movies, moviei movies,, pictures, stories, family jokes. favorite foods, snacks, desertx to eat. popcorn ice cream pie, anything.... give her little tastes so she can taste them all if she want...
Just be joyful around her, she dESERVES IT
Don't know why I had to put or see mom go through this or put her through this, ,but I did, and I made her go through this, since I was told to give her morphine every hour on the hour.... she suffered... I am not a nurse, hospice nurse, or anything medical. I was her daughter... and it was hard... I have seen another resident with the morphine drips, peaceful.. and loving and no torture....
My hospice said: THEY MIGHT OVERDOSE ON IV DRIPS...
HUH? Isn't that why you give them morphine drips, to take away the pain and send them off to Heaven or whatever you believe, in a sound peaceful manner?
Hopefully it is peaceful and quick. Don't think twice if you are not there to see life leaving the body. Sometimes, a person may go when the loved one steps out of the room... That has happened too. It's hard for the soul to leave the temple when someone is watching and standing guard...Know they love you and you are loved and you love them... That is what matters.
I went home for a few minutes to take a break. I was watering the lemon trees mom gave to me. All I could hear was.. You better come back, I need you back here. it is time.... Then I went to the fron year and started watering the freaking lawn... You better hurry....
I dropped the hose, and told mom, ok let me wind the hose so nobody trips over it.
Grabbed my keys and started and the car when I saw my cell phone. My brother finally came into town a day earlier..... He was texting me; get over her the nurse is here and she is preparing the final steps. With the text, I got tom Mom's board n care in 1 minute. She is a 2 minute drive from me. AS stepped in the door, nurse looked up at me and at her watch and pronounced her death......YUP I FELT I SCREWED UP.
am always late. I believe the nurse.. .I heard mom talking to me.. I just didn't want to believe itl..
These little signs you hear...LISTEN TO THEM !!!!