My mom is acting obsessive and paranoid. When should I start to worry?

I hope Anne hasn't gone away never to return.

Anne's mother has been "dealing with" Anne's grandmother, who has Lewy Body dementia, for "some years now."

Anne knows that her mother is "stressed."

I have to say that my first thought would not be some inherited form of dementia, or any other organic disease come to that, but that after years of coping with grandma Anne's mother's depression is now consuming her. The obsession with politics is a form of hiding. She needs to escape, she can't escape, so she withdraws into this virtual interior world.

So: what are grandma's care needs, what is the plan to meet them, how do we get mother out of there before she's actually fit to be tied?

Your mother has become a recluse and has stopped caring about anything but politics, and you say she is having conversations with people who aren’t there. If I were you, I would write a letter detailing her behavior to her doctor without her knowledge. She needs to be seen for a complete physical and an evaluation. People can have very severe reactions to stress. We all handle it differently. If Mom has no hands-on help with Grandma, that makes it worse. Make sure you ask the doctor if these supplements you’ve given her could be having a reaction with her meds. Some do.

Good luck finding an answer. Come back and let us know how she’s doing.

Hi Anne17, I was living with my mom (and dad who was gone alot)and I
noticed she wasn't quite right. Watching political news all morning and saying she had no time to do her art, following me around (shadowing) in morning when I'm trying to get ready for work, falling alot, repeating things constantly, talking nonstop without a pause, etc. Fast forward 1 to 2 years, we finally found out that she had a slow growing cancer that was also causing dementia. Didn't get her checked sooner my dad refused to believe anything was wrong. She eventually passed away from that but after a good year of dementia hell. Document, get your mom to a doctor, really explain or give them your recording of the things that are not normal and she never did before. Best of luck.

Could I just make this comment: my life became much saner when I got rid of the television.  There was a time when people like Walter Cronkite, Ed Murrow, etc. gave the news - but not in this day and age. It is all ratings driven entertainment.  I've found other sources of contemporary affairs comment, like Christian Science Monitor, LA Times, Tomdispatch.  I guarantee Fox News will drive a saint to distraction.

I don't hear about people having their carotid arteries checked, the main vein to the brain...

It's kinda important. I need to get mine checked. If the brain isn't getting enough oxygen... we can get kind of wacky.

UTI's do the same thing.

Probably now, I would think. Since mom has literally stopped doing everything she once did in favor of obsessing about everything political 24/7, that constitutes a problem in my mind. Maybe it's not dementia but more OCD/anxiety related, since she's caregiving your grandma with LBD. That's a stressful environment, so perhaps your mom is responding to it in this manner, who knows? Can you get down to her for a visit and accompany her to the doctor? I know for a fact my mother "forgets" to tell her doctor about ALL the symptoms she experiences that may suggest mental issues. Or, if your mom would agree to releasing her HIPAA rights, you can have a phone consultation instead.
Best of luck!

Now - if she has been to the Dr and not told them about this then although things are not always hereditary is sound like an appointment to have a talk with a psychiatrist (pre warned on her behaviour) would be useful.

If you are 30, how old is your Mum? Could she be going through menopause? It can wreck havoc on us women, including some of the things you have mentioned your Mum going through.

She needs to have a thorough work up with her doctor to see what is contributing to her changed behaviours.

Think now is the time. Would it be possible for you to attend the appointment with her? Could she be severely depressed, stressed out from caregiving, to the point that she just doesn't care about herself anymore only her LO. Has anyone else been helping her out, when was the last time SHE had time to herself? Caregiving is NOT a cakewalk, it's hard demanding work both physically and mentally, especially if there is no support or break for the caregiver, I know, I live it daily. At least DH will lend a hand around the house, with laundry, basic chores that would take more time than hours in a day for me to accomplish when added to caregiving. Brunt of MIL caring falls on my shoulders which is fine, but wish other family members would help out a bit. I can't imagine her needing to do all, be all, by herself she just may be overwhelmed, overtired, severely stressed, and depressed. On the other hand something medical maybe going on. Is she taking care of herself or like many here, we take a back seat to our own care, wants, and needs in favor of our LO needs and wants. Many a doctor or dentist appointment have been put off or rescheduled to the point of just canceling altogether for the caregiver. Many caregivers tend to pass before the LO due to stress related issues that effect their health and wellbeing. When was the last time this lady was given quality time off to recharge and relax? The caregiver is often overlooked, more like a fixture than a person, gram doing fine and no one (those who live close enough to actually help) has to actually interrupt their lives and help out, going their merry way, enjoying life, going on vacations, avoiding any responsibility for anyone but themselves. It is what it is. You've been thru a very stressful time lately yourself and are trying to make a new life for you, coming to terms with what your new normal is. Living 4 hours away from her must be frustrating and stressful for you when trying to help make sense of the situation there. Do you have other siblings or family members that could step up to assist? Check with her local senior services center to see what can be done to help them out. Usually they have people who volunteer their time to cut grass, trimming bushes, snow removal, some basic handyman work. They are also a good resource for information about other programs available to help out. Best of luck to you and yours,

Politics is a subject dear to my heart. I used to spend a lot of time on Twitter. Twitter can be addictive, ESPECIALLY political Twitter, which at times can be a cesspool but it still delivers those dopamine hits as you read about every latest thing that makes you happy/angry. If she is talking about US politics, that’s not going to end there anytime soon, since we are approaching an election year.

I’m guessing that it’s her escape from a real life that doesn’t have too much positive stimulation, or too many people, in it. But the “private conversations” bit is worrying, unless she’s talking about the text messages that political committees send in a politician’s name. I would probably tell her doctor in confidence.

I’m sorry to hear about this. Twitter can make vulnerable people quite disturbed; people say things there that they would never say in real life.

Is she seeing a psychiatrist or a general practitioner for her meds? In my experience it makes a difference. I know you are very worried, but she is lucky to have you to confide in about this. A year is too long, though. Talk to her doctor if you know who that doctor is. And let her know that, because you love her, you are concerned about her.

Hugs.