Father is 88 in care facility. He disrupts other residents at night with his moaning, but he says he doesn’t hurt. What can we do?

Yes, there are many people who call out or moan. A man in a room close to my MIL called ‘help’ about every 30 seconds for most of the day. The facility’s policy was that all the doors were left open unless there was a visitor, so it was very audible. I don’t think there was anything the facility could do to stop him. In your father’s case, I’m sure they know about it, know that it is not good for other residents (and very off-putting for visitors), and have tried to stop it – though I haven't seen the ‘white noise’ machine option, and that might be worth a try. My MIL did get used to it and mostly ignored it – a bit like living near an airport. It makes you understand why old people don't want to live with 'all those old people'.

He is in a shared room? This is one of the unfortunate realities, very often one or more of the people in a shared room disturb the others through no fault of their own - I would be asking the DON what THEY are going to do about it.

My mom’s roommate in skilled nursing rehab facility at the nursing home played the television so loud that I would leave with a headache. It didn’t bother mom because she is hard of hearing too. When they both had the television on I would take mom for a stroll in the wheelchair to the tv lounge area or sometimes the chapel where it was nice and quiet.

Everyday people were moaning, or screaming, “Help me or Don’t leave me!” as I walked by. I hated it. I left depressed every single time I was there.

If he is disturbing others, that's the job of the facility to figure out. But, I would be concerned about my father, if he is doing that. First, I'd confirm that he really does it by some independent process and not just the word of another resident who has dementia. I'd explore if he is not sleeping for some reason. If he is moaning he likely isn't getting his proper rest. I'd discuss with his doctor for a sleep aid. He may not remember what he's doing or feeling during the night, due to his dementia. Based on my experience, there are quite a few people with dementia in Memory care who moan, call out, yell, for no apparent reason. I'd just try to get him relief, if it's disrupting his sleep.

That's so sad, but true. Those dear folks may actually feel better by groaning. It's more for God's ears perhaps, & helping them to find their way to Him. 🌈

Is the facility passing on this info to you? Or does he have a roommate who is complaining? What does the facility say about this? My MIL was in a rehab facility where she heard loud moaning at night and it is very disruptive to sleep and disturbing. I would start by talking to his nurse first, then the admin for help with solutions.

That's good that he's not in pain.

Is he just disrupting his roommate? Or outside of his room?

I can't think of anything to do about his moaning. If he's asleep, he can't control it.

So, would roommate be willing to use earplugs, that you could provide? The foam ones are pretty cheap and would at least mute the noise a bit.

Second idea is for your dad to have a white noise machine, pointed towards the roommate, and put it on a generic setting like a fan that could, again, mute the noise that he's making.

Good luck.

Taylor, a doctor is not going to sedate a patient just to shut him up and make him less annoying.

Let's hope the roommate is hard of hearing.

Is your Dad cognitively intact? Does he fall asleep and then wake up moaning? Or is he having difficulty falling asleep? Sometimes persons with dementia cannot identify pain. A study of nursing home patients concluded that pain was often the culprit of disruptive behaviors. So the study examined giving residents scheduled doses of arthritis strength Tylenol. Perhaps trying a bed time dose may work. Nursing home residents also benefited from lavender either in a diffuser or under the pillow. Not too much though! Lastly, how about a cup of herbal tea before bed? Lastly, if he is disrupting other residents, is there a place he can sit near the staff? Or how about wireless headphones so he can watch tv or listen to music until he can fall asleep

Try a CD player with nice, soft music playing.  How about a pet?  Get a sitter for nighttime.  The best one is giving Tylenol as a sleeper because they do hurt and won't admit it, or they think that they are getting a sleeping pill, and they sleep like a log.  It requires an order to do this.  Also, try a relaxing bath before bedtime, or some warm milk.  Just think of how to get a kid to sleep soundly and try that.