Like I said in the title guardian wants to split possessions.
Here is the whole story.
Through a very contentious guardianship proceeding, it was agreed that an independent guardian would be appointed to care for my mom.
Since then, mom has been moved to a memory care facility. I know the plan is to sell the house. I was told months ago that her possession would be sold, but the children would have first opportunity to buy items.
Now, I have learned that the guardian wants to mark (or sticker) all items in house. One color for me, one for my sibling, and one that we don't care about. If we cannot agree to an item it will be marked for storage. Storage that my mother will have to pay for!
I do not believe this is in the best interest of my mother. Why would her things be given to us when they can be sold for her care? And if we cannot agree on the item - why should my mother pay for storage and this settled at her death?
Would a judge approve that my mother pay for storage of items that she will never use again?
By the way - my mom does not know where she is or who anyone is anymore. She has no mental capabilities anymore.
Should I challenge the guardian and say that these items should be sold or at least be paid for by myself and sibling?
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Putting things in storage, I agree does not make sense, at all.
Twisted2, mom's POA and executor, decided that mom's business assets would be put in storage, that happened four years ago now. TS2 tried to sell some, but had more an emotional attachment to the items. Just yesterday, the things were moved out of storage to my unfinished basement. Over the course of that four years storage cost in excess of $25,000.00. That is finally done. To spend that kind of money on something TS2 considered only worthy of donation was causing issues with closure of mom's estate.
So, Stone, the more you do not agree, the more it will cost mom funds that are needed for her care. Accept 1/2 of the things to keep or donate or give to others. Go with the flow to get done with it.
Estate sale would raise funds for items at a rate of pennies on the dollar. It is tough, I know. I actually was the one that asked for a court appointed guardian, the situation was out of hand. There was nothing I could have done that would have convinced my twisteds of anything. Work with the guardian to show that you can and will cooperate for your mom's best interest.
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They have legal guidelines, do you know exactly what those are? I would get the paperwork pronto and get this resolved before it is to late.
I do think that you are allowed to take personal items from the estate, these are typically non asset, unless they are very valuable and specifically addressed in the will or trust. What would your mom want is the question of the hour.
Get yourself educated about what this guardian should be doing, is allowed to do and how they report to the courts. Knowledge is power in these situations.
I see several choices for you and your sister:
1) take the items guardian marks for each of you and attempt to sell them yourself.
2) have all items moved to storage, but you and sister pay the storage fee until you resolve the "split".
3) have all items donated (at least the ones the guardian doesn't plan on selling.)
4) put out a free sign - if there is a garage, it could be put there and let people take stuff.
5) pitch anything guardian isn't holding for sale.
Any money you **might** make from selling the items can be used for mom. Either give the funds to the guardian for mom's care or use it to purchase anything mom might still enjoy.
For the most part, unless you know something is worth some money, most home furnishings and other items are pretty much not worth much. As others have said, it could cost MORE to try to sell everything than they are worth (exception would be yard sale, as this would only cost you time/effort.) Although some items may appear to be antiquey, it likely isn't and there are tons of them out there, a dime a dozen. Anything worth keeping is something that YOU like or that has some sentimental value to you. Anything else, donate, put it out for free or yard sale it.
In one reply you say you want 2 items, in another you want to walk away and let sister have her way. YOU have to make that decision. If you decide you do not want to argue and agree to give up the "stuff", go to the meeting and say that. Suggest anything sis doesn't want go to donation, not storage. If guardian insists on "splitting" and using storage, offer to pay for the storage and then get rid of the stuff asap. A free sign at the garage or side of the road can sometimes work! My son has done that a lot with his wife's grandmother's "stuff" that has been sitting for many years in the house they rent from her mom!! The "stuff" generally disappears quickly!
Cleaning out mom's condo, my brothers took what they wanted. I only took a few items that could be useful. Most of the other "stuff" either went to neighbor for church rummage sale (random items), Goodwill (mostly clothes), a place near mom's that took furniture, including decent mattresses, or was trashed. WAY too much was hauled here to my place by one brother (most of her clothes - several truckloads!! - went to Goodwill, but at least 5 boxes of shoes, maybe another 4-5 boxes/totes of clothes that were missed, fake plants galore, linens, tablecloths, placemats, napkins, both linen and paper, etc etc etc are all cluttering up my place!!! I did NOT want this stuff, most should have been donated or tossed. I had enough to do without dealing with this crap, getting mom in a safe place and managing everything for her care, and just now, several years later, am going through it to make room that I need in my garage!)
If all else fails, PITCH IT ALL!
If your mom runs out of money to support her placement and it doesn't sound like that's on the horizon, it's the courts problem not yours, they appointed a guardian to use and conserve her money the best way possible and if she runs out I think they then become responsible for making sure she continues to be cared for, she wont be thrown out on the street and it may very well be the case that the MC she is in also has Medicaid beds or a plan in place to keep her there even if she should run out of enough money to self pay. This isn't like a family trying to preserve a LO's estate by finding ways to keep things and have the state pay for their care, this is the state in full control. Maybe you are just so conditioned to fight for your mom, feel like you need to protect her that's it's hard to let go now that you no longer have that responsibility or option. Did you agree that having a court appointed guardian was the best resolve at this point? Try stepping back and out a bit here, focus on taking care of yourself and the rest of your family don't let go of your family treasures (they may have monetary value and they may not, it doesn't matter) and memories out of frustration now and be sorry later including the gift of being able to just spend quality time with your mom now in her current home, the one she will likely pass in. Be a part of her life and just experience that from now on, let the guardian take care of the details and headaches they are being paid to take care of.
When we sisters went through dad and mom's items when we moved him to IL, we used stickers. There were 4 of us. If two or more of us put a sticker on the same item we drew a number from a bowl. The person with the higher number won the choice. You can also use a deck of cards. We accepted the decision and moved on.
Then we had an estate sale and donated what was left behind. You need to come up with an agreed upon method to dispose of these items and not store them.
1) Will mom have to apply for Medicaid at some point? If so then giving things away may not be a wise option.
2) Most "things" are not worth what people think they are worth. So selling may not produce that much in the way of income.
3) If the Guardian thinks it is necessary for the storage unit then the court will approve of it even though I agree it is a waste of money. Anything that can not be sold or that you or other heirs do not want could be donated to a local Charity. (Not much of a write off but some).
4) You have every right to go to court to let the judge hear your opinion.
5) while it may cost a % it might be wise to get someone in with Estate Sale background that can appraise what is in the house and get it ready for an Estate Sale that will draw more people. There are people that follow Estate Sale companies so look for one that has a good reputation and is known in your community. (and the % it will cost still puts more money in your mom's account than paying for a storage unit or giving things away. Although you should take a few pieces that mean something to you..if you want them)
if something of your moms has sentimental value to you, then by all means request the item.
otherwise, why worry about “stuff” ?
The only good news is that I will absolutely never do this to my 3 children.
And yes, she was a hoarder.
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