How do I get to be my mother's Health Care Proxy?

If Mom has Dementia she may not be able to assign you as POA.

There are 2 ways.

1. the first is assuming that she is has capacity to make her own decisions and can sign a legal document. If this is so, then an Advance Health Care Directive is the solution. She, with your help, can complete this form on her own, you do not need an attorney. There is a legal form for each state. The Advance Health Care Directive has a Power of Attorney sections that allows her to assign someone as her health care proxy, and there is also a living will section, where she can include her end of life wishes, however, this section is optional. Here is a short video I made all about how to fill out an Advance Health Care Directive, including where to get the form for your state.
Here's the link: https://youtu.be/8JW8m3TGEW4

2. If your mom no longer has the mental capacity to make her own decisions or sign a legal document, then you may want to apply for guardianship/conservatorship. This is a legal process and takes time, and money, but not always. Here is another video about POA vs guardianship that might be helpful: https://youtu.be/_LpiPyzIrRw

It's great that you want to help your mom and make things go smoothly. One of these above things will be greatly helpful. I wish you good luck!

The best and safest way to do this and make sure there are no issues down the line is to consult with an attorney. It may cost a few bucks, but in the long run, if you have family who could make a stink about any healthcare decisions, it’s worth it to have it drawn up by an attorney. Be aware though, that your mother needs to know what she’s signing.