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jujubee12 Asked September 2019

What do people do for back up caregivers?

My mother is in a wheelchair, virtually blind, with dementia. My father is difficult, wedded to his ways, his house, his refusal to change his methods or habits. They have a saint of a caregiver who is there weekdays 9 - 3 and weekends 9 - 12, comes back at 3 on weekends to help end naps and also at 6 to help put mom to bed. They live in coastal SC. This will be the 4th year my sister puts her NC life on hold to come evacuate with them. After this one, she's done. I'm too far away. New people don't know his routine; he gets nervous, yells at them, yells at mom for not cooperating, etc. and causes all sorts of problems.


What do others do for back-up caregivers? How does one find a caregiver who is technically on standby and knows the routine, especially for evacs? He's not going to move and many of the agency people won't return.

jujubee12 Sep 2019
I don't know if there's a VA nearby. I'll check. Thank you.

jujubee12 Sep 2019
I don't know. Thank you for this group name. I'll check.

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cwillie Sep 2019
I think it is better to have more than one caregiver on a regular basis, even though the person you have is "a saint" different people bring different talents and perspective, it also makes it easier when your main caregiver is ill or on vacation.
jujubee12 Sep 2019
Hmmm. I wonder - if another person could be found (that passed muster), it might be likely that the regular person would relish some of her life back. This is a valid point, I think. Whether my father thinks so - he who holds the purse strings - is another matter. Thank you.
AlvaDeer Sep 2019
Does your regular caregiver have any suggestions? Is here a Visiting Angels group nearby? I hear them recommended a lot on this forum.

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