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LuceeLuv Asked September 2019

I just need to vent! This is the only place where I know people will understand.

My Father is 92 and has Alzheimer's. I'm 60 and the only one left in the family to take care of him. I'm divorced and have two grown children with life of their own. My dad is a sweetheart and I love him dearly but today he seems to be getting into everything when my back is turned. He swears I didn't give him lunch! He opened a pack of ramen noodles and poured the seasoning packet on top and was going to eat it! I told him they had to be boiled before eating them but he claims it was already opened. I put them in the trash. My attention was diverted again and he got another pack of them out and opened them! I told him that was unacceptable and asked him to ask me for anything he wants. But under my breath I'm saying to myself "how can anyone be so stupid!" Alzheimer's is so horrible what it does! I put all the soup packets up where he can't get them. Somedays are so much harder then other days. I know he's not stupid and I'm probably just feeling a bit frustrated today. Thanks for hearing me out! Anybody out there with similar situation please respond. I'd like to know if anyone else has gone through anything similar.

polarbear Sep 2019
Luceeluv - My mom acts like your dad when it comes to food. She forgets a lot of food and how to eat them. She constantly asks "what's this?" or "How does it taste?" She picks up food with her bare hands. She can't tell when she's full so she keeps eating when she's bored.

Currently, she lives in her own place with her sister. My aunt has to lock up the fridge and the pantry with the child locks so my mom can't open them. My aunt cooks nutritious foods and gives my mom enough each meal. In between, she leaves out on the table small portions of light snacks and fruits.

There were a few times when my aunt forgot to lock the fridge, my mom drank up the whole carton of OJ and other sweet juice in one day. If she had access, she could finish one whole jar of peanuts. So, no more free access for her.
LuceeLuv Sep 2019
My Dad for the past couple of days has been sneaking food! Now he didn't finish his dinner because he's not hungry. I'm looking into locking the fridge and cabinets. I made Jello earlier and he spilled it all over the fridge! Today I feel like screaming! 😤 thanks foryour response. It makes me feel better I'm not the only one experiencing these behaviors. Just writing this message makes me feel better. Thanks!
MargaretMcKen Sep 2019
I knew a girl whose ‘home from school’ snack was instant noodles straight from the packet, including a MSG/ chemical cocktail. She started getting nervy and jumpy before her mother decided it wasn’t a good idea. Tinned oysters, sardines and tuna are high protein ‘straight from the tin’ foods, if that’s any help.

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Windyridge Sep 2019
I went through this with my dad. It’s important to understand that your dad cannot learn new things now. He may follow direction in this moment but it won’t stick. It takes LOTS of patience dealing with dementia.

my dad is in a memory care facility now. I don’t mean to depress you but this is just going to get worse. I saw in your profile that you had taken him out of assisted living due to money issues. If you haven’t already done so you may want to apply for Medicaid. He’s going to need to be watched 24/7 pretty soon and that will take more than one person.
LuceeLuv Sep 2019
Thanks for your msg. I'm going to have to go through the process of applying for medicare. I have a lot of patience but my Dad is very mobile and strong and I can't see myself running after him like a two year old in the years to come. Just taking it a day at a time for now. Thanks for your support!
dlpandjep Sep 2019
I'm just a few years older than you and I've been caring for my Mother who has dementia, for 5 years now.  I could tell you story after story - some I wouldn't want to tell you.  This is a progressive disease and your Father will continue to do things that shock and upset you.  Please remind yourself that his mind is shrinking and he cannot help his behavior.  When he goes to the kitchen and "tries" to prepare something, you know he's hungry.  Find something you know he enjoys eating and fix it for him.  I advise you to keep a closer watch on him - especially if he has access to a stove and microwave. 

It took me some time to come to grips with the changes in my Mother - and my Dad.  Role change is something I had never heard of, but I can tell you all about it now.  YouTube has a very informative series of videos called "Careblazers" and I highly recommend you watch them.  I've learned so much from this woman. 

Yes, this disease is horrible and we need all the support we can get - just to keep our sanity.  God bless you.  Sending lots of Hugs.   💙

GardenArtist Sep 2019
Find other foods for him that he can eat w/o preparation.   Is he eligible for Meals on Wheels?    They're fully cooked and could be eaten cold although they taste better if heated up.  Still, it's better than uncooked noodles.

There are also little containers of fully cooked meals; Dinty Moore if I recall correctly has some like that.   

He doesn't understand; his dementia prevents that, so you have to be creative to be one step ahead of him.   Still, I can understand the frustration, although I haven't had to go through that.
LuceeLuv Sep 2019
Thanks for you response.

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