Some horrible news, can anyone help me?

Your friend was abused for years and she should have gotten some help years ago. We make choices in life, and I often wonder why some stay in abusive relationships for so long. I think you could benefit from counseling. This must be very difficult for you. Hope you seek out some help.

Thank ya'll so much for your answers. I am very glad to have found this website, it has proven invaluable to me! Everyone on here is so very helpful and I am so grateful.

There haven't been any updates on her case but my husband has said kind of what ya'll are saying. Stay out of it until we know where she lands and then write to her and try to offer support and friendship. I know she must be scared to death and hurting beyond anything I've ever known...if this truly was a domestic violence killing, I can't imagine what all is going through her mind.

I will keep you all updated as I hear more news. Again, thank you all for your kind words and support.

Nasty shock when you find out friends lives aren’t as they’d portrayed to the world. Firstly don’t even consider blaming yourself for not realising - we see people mostly how they want to show themselves and somewhat naturally, expect friends to be a little more forthcoming.

If you’d rather one to one help, then a counsellor might be an option for you. A violent end to life especially when victim and perpetrator are known friends is always hard on those around them. You must be running a gauntlet of emotions - sadness at a friends death yet disgust at the new side you’ve discovered about him. Shock and fear that your friend could have been driven to such an extreme reaction. Plus sadness that she suffered in silence instead of feeling she could confide and get help before it reached that stage. I think it’s good you are seeking advise and hope you get the help you need.

LaceysTerror: I am so incredibly sorry. There is absolutely nothing to say in the face of this. We know these things happen and we can never for a second imagine them happening close to US. There is nothing to help you hon, but understanding that this isn't your tragedy, and luckily it is not.
This happens across our country.
Since my brother became ill at the beginning of the year I have developed this WEIRD habit of listening to true crime podcasts. I have utterly NO idea why. It is so out of the realm of anything I ever thought I would do. It is as though I am sinking into a world so much worse than anything I can imagine, but it is not a REAL world.
Sadly, as you bring home, it IS a real world. It does happen. And it happens in our towns. Now it has happened to someone who is a friend, and everything you thought you knew is all topsy turvey. Try to stay out of the whirlwind at the center of this storm. Remember it is not your life.
So sorry. My sympathy to you, and to all involved.
I try now to stay away from anything too "real" for me. I long for "relief".
I stay away from, out of politics. Know how I will vote and that's enough for me. I stay out of pictures of the storm devastation. But tonight I tripped into it. And wow. Unimaginable. I think that is it. We cannot imagine it. We just can't.

I’m sorry Lacey. What a shock this must be for you. Support your girl friend if possible as she has been living an awful secret and must be in need of a friend more than ever. Best of luck to you both while working through this.

This is terrible news indeed. I understand how distressing this is for you.

Are there any organizations in your area that provide assistance for people who are targets of domestic abuse or violence? If yes, try contacting one of these organizations. Their staff and volunteers are often equipped to respond when a DV-related incident such as the one you are affected by occurs.

Other sources of help could be an employee assistance program at your workplace, your health-care provider, or a spiritual adviser (for example, a priest or a minister).

Oh Lacey!!!! ((((((Hugs))))))). Please take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing!!!!!