Isn't the medical POA only in affect if the principal can't make their own decisions and therefore would have to be incompetent?

Lordy we have some smart people on this forum!

Good point, Barb.    With all the accusations being made here, some action should have been taken to address them.

tacky". But, first, when my father died 15 years ago (my parents were divorced), my brother had moved into my dad's home 10 years before he died because my brother did not have a job or a place to go. As my dad became older and totally incompetent, my brother got a POA and each month he would transfer all of his retirement (between 5 & 6K) to his bank account. (this went on for over 7 years.) My brother did pay all the bills, but the house was paid for, property taxes were under 1k per year, my father did not drive anymore, and they lived in a small town---being generous all monthly expenses would be around 1.5K per month, including medical---my father had the best federal employee government insurance---the same package our federal congressmen and senators have.) Additionally, my brother took my father's credit cards and check book away from him and he told me dad had been gambling, over the phone, and was wasting money. Also, when my dad did not even know who I was anymore, my brother had my father sign a quitclaim deed, for his home, over to himself. Then he filed the quitclaim deed in the next county---I guess so I would not know. So, when my father died there was nothing left. Bank account was depleted, house was gone. And my brother told he I could have nothing inside the house. Additionally, and unbelievable, my father had given his old truck to my son, who was in HS, about 5 years prior to my father's death. My brother made me give his 2K so my son could keep the car---as my brother had my dad also sign the old truck over to him---how low can you go?

Anyway, the same scenario is playing out with my mother. And, I am surprised because my mother is much more savvy---but my brother is being very smart and using my mother's lawyer's advice. And, I question this. As my mother's lawyer, shouldn't this lawyer speak with my mother about what her wants are and represent her interests? I think my brother is just too cheap to pay a lawyer out of his own pocket.

Now, my brother, would not even let me into my mother's house when she was in the hospital. And, now that she is in assisted living, he won't let me in either. He keeps all her documents and ID locked in the house. He won't let anyone know what is going on. And, he tried his best to keep my mother totally away from me (the only other sibling). He told the assisted living facility to not let me see my mother or talk to her on the phone. I had to go to the state to get this changed.

And, worst of all, my mother is not living her life anymore and my brother is using a doctor's certificate of incapacity, which was written while my mother had septic pneumonia, to keep her away from her home and all her assets. He has taken away her credit cards, her check book, all money---all for safe keeping. He even took her diamond ring. If this does not scream of fraud, I do not know what does. Plus, it is just plain disgusting.

And now, my mother is not incompetent (although she was for the short time she was in the hospital with septic pneumonia). My mother is back to "normal"and does take care of herself---baths, dresses, puts on makeup, makes appointments for the beauty parlor, like to go shopping and dress up, etc. She has COPD but she is healthy for a 97 year old. She likes to go out to lunch with her friends, and speak with her friends. She can't do any of these things anymore because my brother won't allow it. And it is my mother who wants to revoke whatever power she gave my brother so she can have her life back. And, believe me, she is broken hearted. She loves my brother and "does not want to hurt his feelings", but she wants her life back even more. Therefore, it is my mother who is making the changes and if she needs my help is getting the right paper work and driving her to her lawyer and her doctor---so be it.

Good points, Barb.   I can't recall how many posts I've read on this forum in which a sibling knows a lot about how someone else is using a parent's funds.

Really, that's all that the POA is to use the money for? I think that I'm confused here. My brother is my mom's POA and I am her healthcare rep. She can still make some decisions, when given the opportunity. She is 88 and has done if for 87 years herself. She was diagnosed with mild unspecified dementia.

Hi:

Since my first correspondence with Aging Care, I have been speaking with my mother every day. And during the last 4 months since her release from the hospital for septic pneumonia, she has become much better, especially her memory and physical abilities. She walks around (with a walker), dresses and baths herself, eats regularly, is aware of her surroundings, location, dates, etc.
I have contacted the assisted living facility my brother placed my mother in, and I was told that my mother could not come to visit me without my brother's permission. And since I know that my brother is not her guardian, I am assuming he is using a statement of lack of capacity from either the doctor at the hospital or her personal physician, written during the time my mother was in the hospital for septic pneumonia. (She was really "out of it" during this time, and was as close to death as you can get.) But, my mother's condition & situation have entirely changed, and she not only wants to visit me, live at home, but also to have my brother removed from the POA.

In the interim, my brother has moved into my mother's home. He uses her money to pay all the expenses, and keeps my mother in a less expensive facility than in necessary. He only occasionally visits, maybe once every couple of weeks, even though my mother's home is 7 miles from the assisted living facilities.

So, my questions are now directed at getting any information of a doctor's statement of capacity and how to get my mother to the doctor to have this changed, or even if this is necessary.

I am not a lawyer, but my brother has been using my mother's money to get legal assistance regarding my mother for years---although the attorney has never once spoken with my mother regarding what she wants.

So any assistance will be appreciation.

Thanking you in advance,