Help?

I would not take care of two aging people who are not related. Talk about personality clashes. I would really not do it at all.

My BIL had POA. He lived 8 hrs from his Mom, other BIL 12, us 16. When his Mom needed help and then probate my BIL asked us to take over. I said no. My husband is deaf meaning anything having to be done over the phone would be my responsibility. I already had my Moms POA and nephews. There was no reason he couldn't handle his Moms small estate. His wife was perfectly able to help. My other SIL and I cleaned out the house when we were there.

100% agreement with AlvaDeer. Also, does the brother "expect" his parent to be cared for in someone's home? If you decide against doing it (I know I would) then this needs to be explained to him. Maybe he thinks/knows his parents don't have the money for a facility? This is another issue. Clarifying expectations and then moving on to what people are willing to do and spend will move everyone forward to a mutually agreed solution, with his parent's best interests at the core. My family comes from an immigrant background so in-home care by relatives is an "old world" notion and expectation. This clashes with the reality of today's challenges. I have worked hard at bridging the two and it has been worth it. Wishing you harmony in your family's decision!

The question is not the brother. He has chosen not to give care in his home. To be very frank with you, bad person that I am, that would be my choice as well.
The real question here is YOU and your spouse. Please don't try to take this on. Please recognize your human limitations. No one will give you any trophies for taking on more than anyone should. I am sorry as I can be, but giving up your own life to the elders is not right. My vote goes to care, as good as can possibly be afforded once the Elder's assets are assessed.