Is it too much to ask for my mother to have undergarments on her? They are dressing her, unless I am there early.

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Floridagirl6 Asked September 2019

Is it too much to ask for my mother to have undergarments on her? They are dressing her, unless I am there early.

Am I over reacting or is it too much to expect that her caretakers will put undergarments on her (if I'm not there to do it) I know somebody dressed her because we had had to remove ALL of her clothing from her room (that's another story). Anyways, I was completely exhausted after a long day with mom yesterday and my evening visit that I physically couldn't get out of bed this morning, so I didn't. I slept until 2pm and then went to visit mom at dinner time. When it what time to change into her PJs this evening, to my surprise she had no bra or panties on all day; with jeans that are snug. I am upset and also understand that people are human and make mistakes but, is it too much to ask that when you're dressing mom you put her undergarments on? I don't want her to get an infection or have a situation that is avoidable. Any suggestions on the most productive way to handle this in the morning? Thanks in advance!

Alzheimer's & Dementia Care Decisions Care Plan Care Team

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score 1 · Answer 1

Your moms dressing requirements should be part of her daily documented care plan. At my Moms NH this was a computer printout that all her hands on caregivers had. Moms specified she was to wear a bra or camisole daily, knee socks, and was to wear a nightgown, not hospital gown. I labeled her dresser drawer with the drawers for each item, and made sure she had enough in the drawers so they didn’t run out or could have excuses. Sometimes I still came in to find her braless, and would bring it to the charge nurse or CNAs attention. But 95% of the time it was right and I could live with that. So make sure what you/she wants is documented.

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score 3 · Answer 2

This is what you have to do. Put everything she is to wear on a hanger. I had problems with them not putting Moms bra on. RN daughter told me it was because they dress top to bottom. By the time they realized the bras were in her sidetable drawer she was dressed. I always had her tops and pants together. If not she wouldn't match. So, I included the bra. Can't understand why under panties wouldn't be put on. So, put everything on a hanger.

Easy way to keep track of her clothes too.

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Thanks for your response! To give some background...Mom is in MC, in her own room. We had to put moms clothes in plastic bins in the Laundry room because she kept folding them up (prepping to leave) and would go into the dirty laundry and mix them up; on a daily basis I had to go through all her clothes to separate clean from dirty and reorganize them- after 3 weeks they requested the bins because they too were exhausted from doing the same thing I have been doing. Mom sleeps with no panties on at night (it's documented) to help avoid accidents, but dresses normally during the day (also documented). Thus, I know somebody had to go into her bin a grab her clothes (next to day clothes same bin) to change her from the PJ's I left her in last night. And her PJs from last night were just put into a drawer (they should have gone back to the laundry room to her dirty clothes hamper). So now what?

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score 0 · Answer 3

Can you just nicely and matter-of-factly ask the caregivers to put on mom's underwear and bra? Is there anyway they could not have found them? Seems like a lame possibility. Maybe they were being lazy or mom uncooperative, etc. A simple ask might take care of it, hopefully.

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Thanks for your response, unfortunately all moms clothes are in clear plastic bins with her name on them; in the laundry room; so they were all in the same place. Moms very easy going and usually goes with the flow but, you never know. She usually is resistant to take her bra & panties OFF if anything. I'm usually there 2x a day so I know all the Caretakers Nurses Staff by name and the residents. I'm very surprised and I feel let down and that I let my mom down (had I gone this morning I would have caught it then), but I realize I can't prevent every undesirable situation from happening. I feel like I must say something to somebody. At almost 6K a month, I just don't think it's a lot to ask.

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Is it too much to ask for my mother to have undergarments on her? They are dressing her, unless I am there early.

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