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MaryKathleen Asked September 2019

Does anyone have experience with California Adult Protective Services?

Does anyone have experience with California Adult Protective Services?
My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We were 65 and 67 when we married. He had been a bachelor before we got married, so no ex-wives or stepchildren. We are currently 85 and 87. Hubby is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. He has a niece who has decided that I do not belong in the house and she does not want me to inherit it if Hubby dies first. She took him to our Trust Attorney without my knowledge to get the trust changed. The Attorney didn’t see her because she was a drop in.


Now SOMEONE has called APS on me. I don’t know why, the Social Service worker will not tell me until we have a meeting. He wants to meet in our home. We have guns and although they are locked up in a safe that my hubby doesn’t have access to, I am concerned if he is an anti-gun person that he will give me problems over this. The gun safe is in the bedroom, if you go in there you can see it. I have a CCW (Concealed Carry Weapons) License because of my volunteer work with the County Sheriff’s Department.
I have a phone appointment with an attorney for next Tuesday. I am sure whoever reported me will remain anonymous. Some questions I am going to ask. 1. If I allow him in my house, does that give him the right to search my home? 2. Do I have to allow him in at all, can we meet someplace else? 3. Will I know the results of the interview? Does anyone else have any ideas?
All of you are wonderful caring people and all of you deserve many hugs ((Hugs)).

MaryKathleen Sep 2019
One week has passed since I posted my original question. I want to update you. I am not sure this is the proper way but here goes. The APS worker was supposed to come Tuesday afternoon.

I called the Social Worker's supervisor and told her that Hubby didn't want that man to come back because he lied to him. We never got a response. So, on Monday I had Hubby talk to someone who answered the phone. He wasn't articulate, but did get across that anyone else would be ok but not that man who lied to him. Still no response

Tuesday morning I had a free phone appointment with an Elder Law Advocate Attorney who gave me some great ideas. I got his name through the County Bar Association. He said to get all of his medicines in a plastic bag for the APS worker to see. Make a list of all the medicines, their doses, and what they were for. Also add to the list all of his doctors, phone numbers, and why he saw them. Then add the attorneys, Our trust attorney and himself. Lastly, since I am going to a caregiver support group sponsored by the county mental health department to add the moderator's name. She is a Social Worker. I made up a very nice typed list (even if I do say so myself). He also said I could tell them my finances but they had no right to see bank accounts. He did say I could have a third "disinterested" party there. He said from what I told him he didn't see any problems.

Well, my girlfriend came over, we waited and waited and no one showed up. So, now we wait again for the other shoe to drop. I told hubby if anyone comes when I am not home to not let them them in the house.

Getkicksonrte66 Sep 2019
Well I’m sorry your having to go through this now in lieu of just trying to enjoy your life without grief from your husbands relative. Also, Forgive me if you felt like I insinuated you may have threatened anyone with a gun. Surely, I could have worded that better. I’m not without flaws.
Now after hearing about another neice who has cancer, I’m leaning with other posters that this (bad seed) neice is probably the culprit who called Adult Protective Services.

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Getkicksonrte66 Sep 2019
Curious, I just read your profile page
where you state your husbands neice has stage 4 cancer that has
metastasized.
Interesting, to me that someone with a serious diagnosis like that would even have the energy to pursue an inheritance or be causing problems.
MaryKathleen Sep 2019
The one with Stage 4 cancer is her sister. When we set up the trust, the one with cancer was to have POA for his health and the other one his finances. At that time I trusted them completely.
JoAnn29 Sep 2019
I disagree with being upfront at the beginning. I would allow the Social Worker to take the lead. Let her ask and you answer. Give no additional info than what is asked. They have to investigate a claim. The SW may find the claim unfounded.

I agree that talking to a lawyer is a good thing. He may agree with me, he may agree with Alva. I would also ask if a family member or friend could sit in with you for moral support. Sometimes when we r nervous we don't remember what was said. If u don't have POA for husband, I would see if its still possible for husband to assign you. This will help protect you from niece. Put in file at your bank and Drs. office.

This may work in your favor. The SW may suggest resources you can take advantage of. ALZ will progress to where you need more help. U may have to eventually place DH in LTC. If the claim becomes unfounded, this is good for you. You now have it on record and if niece tries this again, APS will be more likely to be on ur side.

If it were me, I would eventually get rid of the guns. At this point, they are a danger. If you want to keep ur handgun, make sure its where husband will never find it.
worriedinCali Sep 2019
The guns aren’t a danger. Her husband has no access to the safe.

i took the advice about being upfront to mean.....answer their questions truthfully and completely & don’t be invasive, don’t give them reason to be suspicious. Being upfront doesn’t mean volunteering information. Just my honest opinion but if they don’t ask, she shouldn’t tell. Just answer the questions they ask and say I more. It’s in her best interest to cooperate. It will get them out of her life faster.
worriedinCali Sep 2019
Here in California, APS does make appointments.
AlvaDeer Sep 2019
I know nothing at all about APS, but they don't always call for Child Protective, Cali. Or didn't back some 10 years ago or so. But if not let in they will ask when in the next day or two may they come back, and they WILL then come back. Apparently they already talked with OP because she mentions a Social Worker and they want to meet in her home.
BarbBrooklyn Sep 2019
Tacy raises a good point.

I think perhaps you need to call the local APS office and find out if this person is one of their employees.

You really can't be too careful these days.
AlvaDeer Sep 2019
I think OP said she tried to call but they would give no information unless at the visit. I have some semi-personal experience with this but the one I am aware of was warring sisters, one home schooling and the other fighting that she was, calling child protective. They just showed up.She didn't let them in and they asked when they could return. They returned next day; home pretty messy still but they were not interested in that. Only in speaking with kids, seeing their work studies and there was absolutely no problem.
After re reading comments I am scared of this niece and her probably trying to get guardianship of this couple completely. I hope they see their lawyer when this is over.
APS may just ding on "no grab handle by shower" and we will return after you get one installed. That kind of thing. But I doubt they will mess with this gentle lady. I hope not.
mstrbill Sep 2019
It sounds like the niece is trying to move in on his estate. The guns will not be a concern of APS, just your husbands condition and how he is being taken care of. Make sure the home is neat and clean and be prepared to demonstrate how you and your husbands needs are being taken care of.

Make sure you see an attorney regarding your estate, it sounds like the niece is conniving to go after it, make sure you take the necessary precautions.
MaryKathleen Sep 2019
Oh she made no bones about it to me. I think she has gone off the rails, she is a Paralegal, has been one for years, yet she acts like she never heard of the law. I have been in touch with our trust attorney and he is aware of the situation.

I don't know if the trust can be changed since Marty has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. As it stands now, I think I am ok as my daughter has POA on me if I become incapacitated.
worriedinCali Sep 2019
Mary Kathleen, no APS does not have the right to search your house. I doubt they will even ask if they can do, but if they do, excercise your right to say no. Go ahead and meet with him at your house, he can’t just walk through it without your permission. You don’t even have to answer the door when they show up. If you don’t, they will simply go away. They won’t call the cops to come break down the door. I’m not advising you to do that by the way. I think you should cooperate as you’ve got nothing to hide and there’s no reason for APS to get involved.

When APS comes out to the house, If they don’t ask, then don’t tell. Answer their questions but again, if they don’t ask then don’t tell. Catch my drift? I understand how stressful this is and that you can’t help but worry, but try not to! Your husband is cared for and your ducks are in a row. I would be very very surprised if anything came of the APS investigation.

Getkicksonrte66 Sep 2019
Me thinks your worry is probably misplaced. Stay calm and just understand APS workers have a duty to protect the person who “allegedly” needs their help.
They won’t answer your questions
but will ask you many. My advice is don’t pepper them with questions.
Hopefully you’ve never threatened anyone with those guns, in any case
just stay calm and offer APS a nice seat at your kitchen table and offer them something to drink, and just wait for their questions.
good luck
MaryKathleen Sep 2019
LOL, I have never threatened anyone. If I even feel the need to draw it in a tense situation, I have to tell the Sheriff's Department. I had to take a class and pass a gun safety test. I even have special insurance on them and me. Through the insurance company USCCA (United States Concealed Carry Association) I get regular training videos and information. I also have access to an attorney and a 2 million dollar policy to help me if, sadly, I ever have to use it. I also regularly shoot at a range.

I only have it because I am regularly out with deputies and if a bad guy recognized me and tried to shoot me, I hopefully would be able to defend myself. The Department told us to get them.

After coming from a Fire background where I was a "good 'guy", this has been a rude awakening for me.
BarbBrooklyn Sep 2019
Be aware that your niece may be attempting to gain guardianship.
AlvaDeer Sep 2019
Oh oh. I never thought of that, Barb. You could be so right.
Sendhelp Sep 2019
MaryKathleen.
Don't change a thing in your house!
You do have to allow them in, or the APS will say they will call the sheriff out if you do not allow them in. This happened to a neighbor. The APS officer left saying to me: "Why was she wearing diapers?" She wasn't. He went in without allowing her to change out of her underwear. Crazy, huh? So they can also interview neighbors, even if the neighbors did not call them.

In my opinion only, and because of your volunteer work, I would make a big deal and call the sheriffs out when they arrive and ask for a civil assist. (Be present).
Call ahead so they can be expecting your call for a civil assist. The sheriff's will already know (sorry) because they work in cooperation with each agency, and actually will come out ahead of the APS officer if there is an immediate danger.
Or, it may be wiser to keep a low profile and cooperate. They will want to talk to your husband separately.

The APS are often there to inquire, and suggest changes that would help you care for yourself and husband. They are much too busy to take on a false accusation case.

Your attorney is yours and your husband's, correct? What was she thinking?
What has your husband been saying? Take him in to see the lawyer imo.
The two of you should pull together, protect yourselves.

Edited: Yes, cooperate, but do not volunteer any information. I believe an attorney would advise that. The visit to my neighbor (years ago) was under 30 minutes.

However, be aware that APS is just one more broken system known to have over-reached it's power and authority at times, as well as some being completely
impedent. (Useless).

No worries. If anything happens you can appeal their decision. Just say to yourself, this is not happening! Do not imagine scenarios in your mind, imo.

P.S. You don't have two inches of cockroaches covering your floors, do you?
That is what APS is for.
MaryKathleen Sep 2019
Fortunately, I had just hired housekeepers and that was their first day on the job. I did it because I may have back surgery and right now I wasn't keeping the house as clean as I could have. The surgery is outpatient, and the doctor said I could even drive home.
AlvaDeer Sep 2019
I believe that you have to let them in your home. Because it is basically his safety, his home they are looking at, as well as they are looking at YOU. Remember, they don't know the backstory here nor that you two are actually the ones being abused by the Niece.
#1 First thing that is important is that you cooperate. DO NOT attempt to meet them elsewhere, to postpone meeting. Be gracious and at their service. This will get you a huge number of points going in.
#2 When this person visits I would ask if you could sit together and talk briefly. I would "jump the gun" so to speak, in that I would say just what you said here, and as clearly and briefly. That you have been doing care for your husband for so many years, and that there is a Niece who has recently attempted to get husband's assets by taking him to a Lawyer without you or your permission and who has attempted to change his trust. I would then give this woman's name. I would say that while you have no idea on earth who could have reported you,that you are entirely in shock about it, you would ask that if it is this Niece they be very careful in assessing her. That you believe she is preying upon your assets. You now have even MORE points in your basket.
#3. I would admit that you have and always have had firearms when you enter the bedroom with APS. That they are safely under lock and key at all times, just in case. And that you do have a concealed carry license. Have that ready at your side. Tell them that you are very fearful in our current climate in our country that someone more "liberal" than you might be against fire arms. I am no lover of fire arms myself; however they are your RIGHT under the law and under the constitution and you have been VERY responsible in your handling of all this. Were it me, I would pass you in a second on that.
4. Know that they are not interested into immaculate housekeeping, but will be interested in safe and sanitary. Clean refrig. Clean toilet, Safety grab bars. Hand rails by stairs. So on. May ask about meals. How you get them. May ask if husband is judged safe alone and if not what do you do when he has to be alone because you are shopping and etc. Remember, it is in the interest of the State that your husband remain with you for any number of reasons. Consider them on your side. Treat them as though they are.
Basically, under the law on a home check they will have a certain right to do certain things. I hope someone on forum is better informed and can tell you exactly what those things are, but I would be a "My house is your house" kind of gal. EVEN if they were quite rude. The more open and forthcoming they are the more they will like you. And sorry, but liking you likely will count. Remember you are in it to win it.
This is tragic. It sounds as though you have someone absolutely preying upon you and your husband. I almost would think of trying to visit a lawyer to prevent someone trying to take him again to change the Trust. Do know that without the trust itself and without access to his assets it will be hard for this woman to get what she needs to draw up a Trust, as anyone can make a trust, but it is hard to move assets into it, such as bank accounts, properties. But she could have him make a holographic will, so who knows. If she does it again I would consider reporting HER to APS and consider a restraining order.
I would also consider getting guardianship of your husband if you can afford a lawyer to assist you.
If she did it once she may do it again.
Now to the basic of you and hubby being both getting close to a fine vintage at this point. Do you have family you trust? If not it may be time to consider a way to protect BOTH of you if something happens to your own health in any way. Durable Power of Attorney for health and financial.
Hugs, and good luck.
I am sure wishing you the very best. I hope you will update us. You sound exceptionally bright, able and kind; I think you will ace this.
SnoopyLove Sep 2019
Excellent advice. So sorry this is happening, MaryKathleen!

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