My 86-year old father is planning to join a tour group taking a vacation to England, Ireland, and Wales which sounds idyllic, right? Unfortunately, the last two trips that he had planned within the U.S. he cancelled because he didn't feel well. He has had two strokes within the last two years which have caused minor left side weakness. He also had a heart attack within the year resulting in two stents. He has already had bypass surgergy and has a pacemaker. Within his lifetime, he has had three strokes and three heart attacks.
I have not said anything to him because thinking about this trip has brought him some pleasure which he desperately needs in his life. However, he has arthritis in his knees and back and moves extremely slowly with a walker. Throughout the week, he usually will sit up for 4-6 hours on Monday then will only get out of bed to come to the table to eat supper. He sometimes gets out of bed for breakfast but usually requests breakfast and lunch be brought to him. We have wrestled with this, but at 86 and given his health problems, we just don't fight that battle about whether getting up and around is better for him or not. I'm just glad he's eating!
He has been setting money aside for this trip. What I am envisioning is his attending this meeting and paying for a trip that I just don't think he is physically capable of doing. He has not said anything about anyone accompanying him, but I think he would almost need to have someone as I think he will need a wheelchair to make it through the airport. And I don't think where his tour will be taking him will be handicap accessible.
Has anyone else experienced this? We have suggested shorter trips and also suggested a cruise might be better. However, he is bound and determined to see the Tower of London and kiss the Blarney Stone. I admire his desire and agree it would be the trip of a lifetime! However, he has not mentioned anyone accompanying him...and quite frankly, no one in our family could accompany him but me. I would do it...but I am almost certain this trip will not be the trip he is dreaming it will be. And I hate that for him! How far do I let this go?
9 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
Can you accompany him to the presentation?
Do you have an Elder College program in your community? The one here has several armchair travel sessions. It is an inexpensive way to "see" the world.
Our local library has VR headsets. I do not know which programs they have for them, but it maybe another day to 'see' the world.
My Dad is 90 and stopped traveling 5 years ago. Prior to that he snowbirded from Canada to New Zealand each year. Now he can can barely walk 1/4 mile. He knows his days of travel are over.
Mum is 85 and fit as a fiddle. She is planning her next trip. This summer she and her twin went on a 800 mile road trip to visit friends and family. She wants one more trip to Europe and will go once she saves the money.
I know, no matter what age we are, there is always that far reaching thought about how do I get medical care overseas.
Have you spoke to him about his health risk while traveling? Maybe he would be just fine if he passed away while trying to check off an item on his bucket list. You could also discuss other items on his bucket list that were more "do-able", and trade him 3 of those for one overseas trip!
I would find out who is in charge of this meeting. Make them aware of Dad. Ask if they can mention that they can't accommodate anyone who has health problems. Maybe, the can speak with Dad privately to explain this trip is not for him. Not sure if the pacemaker would be a problem.
I would check with his heart doctor.
You might raise with the tour company the issue of assistance in walking, etc. w/o sharing your concerns. It might provoke them to address the issue of whether he'll need a companion, which I'm assuming they wouldn't provide. Would he have the funds to take you, or someone else, to accompany him?
There might also be insurance requirements, in the event of illness or accident on the tour.
And if travel insurance were required, would he be able to meet the standards? Tactfully moving this issue to the tour company's responsibility (decision wise) might be a solution, but I'd be prepared (like Indiana Jones) to immediately offer something in its place.
In my area, some of the more well funded libraries have tour programs, with reps from that country, and slides/movies of various places. Refreshments are sometimes served. It's kind of traveling, w/o leaving the country, and w/o the big $$$ required. You might check various libraries (or even Senior Centers) in your area to see if these kinds of programs are offered.
I do understand that he would want to see some of the places in which he's interested, as he's aging. It might be kind of a last wish as he ages, or as some call it, one of his "bucket list" items. I would try to focus on how you can address that while just staying right here.
Good luck.
He can also purchase trip insurance which entitles him to cancel for any reason, right up to the last day of the trip (if they DO allow him to be part of their tour group, which I really doubt). Trip insurance generally costs approximately an additional 10% of the total trip price.
Best of luck!