Siblings who never offered assist to parents in home, now want mom in AL & medicated against her will. She is 90. Lawsuit threat. Help!

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R

renoir Asked September 2019

Siblings who never offered assist to parents in home, now want mom in AL & medicated against her will. She is 90. Lawsuit threat. Help!

Mom now with Parkinsonism and possible cognitive LBD (lewy body) just beginning. Mild dementia but she makes up stories at times that make me look bad. I've been sole caregiver to both mom and dad over past 4 yrs. Siblings never took parents for even 1 afternoon nor 1 weekend to their homes. Never relieved me of my Caregiving duties in 4 yrs. Both parents wanted to stay in home, die in home. I've been here to honor their wishes. My dad passed 6 mos ago in the home. I recently hired additional paid caregivers to assist me. Problem is, my siblings have no clue on mom's medical needs. No idea what her health condition is. She is 90. Now she wants only 'Conservative Care.' No meds, no more tests unless to treat infection, acute issues, etc. My siblings want opposite of what she wants. They want her in AL and medicated and tested. They've hired Attys this week, so they say. To remove me. I've lived in home 4 yrs. No other job but Caregiving. I've put my 'other life' on hold for parents. I support my mom and her wishes. She has patient rights! I am POA Medical. Do I need Guardianship? Help--- I think I need an Atty! Does my mom too? What type? Thank you for any advisory.

Care Decisions Elder Law Family Caregiver Siblings

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score 1 · Answer 1

Deeanna, I was referring to a contract if the courts appoint a guardian. Mom will still need a caregiver. If that happens mom would not sign, it would be a court document and the guardian would sign or the judge.

If mom is far enough gone to need a guardian, she cannot sign anything.

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score 0 · Answer 2

I think that Renoir's Mom would have to be the one to sign the Caregiver Contract which would go into effect on the day that her Mom signs the contract. The contact does not cover Renoir's previous caregiving. I suspect that if her Mom does sign a Caregiver Contract with Renoir that the siblings will attempt to have Mom declared as incompetent and state that they feel that their Mom is not competent enough to sign such a contract and that Renoir put undue pressure on her Mom to sign the Caregiver Contract at this time.

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score 0 · Answer 3

You can find a certified elder law attorney at www.nelf.org.

They do this type of work daily, so they tend to be more reasonably priced than other attorneys that need to research how to best represent their clients.

Most offer free consultations. I would find one that can help you and your mom.

I am sorry for the loss of your dad and I am sorry that your siblings are being difficult. Hopefully your mom has her wishes in writing.

Hugs! You will get through this.

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score 0 · Answer 4

If your siblings told you to your face that they have hired attorneys to take control of your Mom's medical care and that they want her to go to a AL, then you need to talk to an Elder Law Attorney ASAP.

I agree with AlvaDeer that your siblings might claim that you were/are living off of your parents and that you are "stealing" your parents' money to pay for your own expenses such as clothes, food, etc. by living with them. Be prepared to petition for guardianship, and maybe, conservatorship of your Mom. However, if you (or someone else) does get guardianship and/or conservatorship, you most likely will have to move out of your parents' house and will have to pay for your own apartment and utilities, food, etc. because ALL of your parents' (Mom's) money has to be used for their (your Mom's) expenses only.

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Couldn't she get a caregiver contract. Mom's guardian will not be the hands on caregiver if appointed by the courts.

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score 1 · Answer 5

If you have medical PoA and your mom gave it to you while in her right mind, then they will need to prove otherwise, or that some other transgression is happening. Who has the financial PoA? This seems too serious an issue to rely on non-state specific advice. I would consult an elder law attorney in your area to see what they say. Good luck!

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score 1 · Answer 6

If they have hired attorneys then I do think you should at least speak to one. This would be an elder law attorney. I doubt that they could get guardianship, but they may force a case to go to public guardianship by the State. So to be safe I would recommend you seek counsel of an Elder Law Attorney.
They may have plans, if you have no job, to say that you are living off the parents, and having them support you. You should definitely seek counsel.

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Siblings who never offered assist to parents in home, now want mom in AL & medicated against her will. She is 90. Lawsuit threat. Help!

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