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Habraham2020 Asked September 2019

What kind of legal action will I face if I can't bring my mom back home from the hospital?

I dropped off my mom to the hospital because she was complaining of pain, can't walk also incontinence. The hospital admitted, but I told them I can't take care of her any more. I need a place for her. I did what they told me, but the agency doesn't call me back. I have to travel because it's a requirement for my job. I am far away, I can't go and pick her up. I don't have anybody to help close. All my other family is far away also. I'm very confused. I don't know what to do.

anonymous912123 Sep 2019
No legal action in regard to you. I would contact the social worker at the hospital and let them find a home for mom, they will.

mstrbill Sep 2019
No, there is no legal action you will face. It seems you've fallen into one of the cracks of our elderly care system where you can't find a home to take care of Mom and you've found your way to the best option. The hospital will be able to find a place far easier than you will. You should cooperate with the hospital as much as you can and help them find placement, but make it clear you cannot care for her safely at home.

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surprise Sep 2019
You can also talk to the social worker at the hospital and tell them that you cannot take care of her. If she is incompetent, you can suggest that she be made a ward of the state if you don't want to have the hassle of placing her and making sure she has her supplies.

Lymie61 Sep 2019
I would stay in close touch with the hospital, I’m assuming you are either listed as MPOA or at least with authority for them to share medical info with on her records so you have some input and say in what happens but simply be honest when they are making discharge arrangements, if she needs 24 hr care you aren’t available for that. Has she been living with you or on her own? Basically while they will try to paint as rosy a picture as they can and strong arm family into agreeing to provide more care than is practice, they (the hospital) has a responsibility to make sure the needed care is set up and in place before releasing a patient. They have both a legal responsibility as well as answering to Medicare/insurance if the patient comes right back because they were released to improper care. What they want to do is transfer that responsibility to you or the patient if they are capable of being on their own with intermittent check ins and oversight. Now if your mom can convince them both physically and mentally that she is able to go home on her own with maybe VNA checking in (they will then assess how often) well that’s their responsibility, if they are willing to let her go home as long as family is checking in daily and able to get to her should she need it with VNA support, well they need your assurance you can provide your part if you can’t they need another plan. They can’t place responsibility onto you that you don’t accept or care on you you are clear you can’t provide. Now that said it certainly happens especially depending on where she is and the hospital she’s in (as well as her medical insurance) that patients are basically put in a cab and sent home when they absolutely shouldn’t be but if you are keeping up on the plans and help take part in the decisions you keep them on notice that they can’t really get away with this, you just need to do this while making sure you aren’t accepting care responsibility you can’t provide, you don’t have to “dump” her to make the right thing happen and you can do a lot of this by phone or telecommunication, though making some appearances in person will go a long way toward helping the process.

The hospital discharge coordinator will be your point person and you want them on your side so make sure they know you are doing everything you can and be clear about wanting to care for her but just not being able too (you travel for work) a FaceTime or Skype meeting with them can be very useful to drive home all of these facts. I did this when my mom was in the hospital after her stroke and he would have sent her to a nursing home without our involvement but I was still 350 miles away, my brother had just gone home thinking the timing was good I think but the guy mentioned she still qualified for short term intensive rehab and that would be better for her aphasia but he wasn’t sure he could get a bed fast enough or something so I took the names of the stepped up rehab options, called each of them as well as her PC and family who had some experience for references and found a bed in the two best options on paper, my brother went to visit each of them that night and we chose one, she was moved I think the next day while her mobility challenges, which were getting better rapidly, still qualified her for this stepped up service (she got PT, OT and ST 2-3 times a day as opposed to 2 times a week in NH type rehab). Anyway my point being that our involment kept him from doing the easy dump into a NH where she wouldn’t have improved as well partly because we did the work after he gave me the information but they were never considering sending her home yet. There is often more than one choice with one being the easy one for them and doing leg work, expressing your desires and doing a little pushing back in a diplomatic way without taking on her care is just fine and may help get you mom into the best intubation for both of you now, safe for her and less stressful/worrisome for you.
Lymie61 Sep 2019
Oh and PS I can’t think of any reason you would face legal action unless you take on her care and don’t provide it or abuse her, take her money. That’s part of why this is the ideal time to make changes, she is in the hospital and their legal responsibility safety and health wise, you just aren’t accepting it back from them, you know and are admitting to your limits that i think puts you in a very good legal position. She is and adult and you don’t have legal responsibility unless you accept that, we often mix up legal and what we consider moral responsibility for our loved ones but often our moral responsibility is also the hardest to carry out, admitting our limits and that’s whats best for out loved one whether or not it’s what’s best for us or seems selfish.
BarbBrooklyn Sep 2019
You should call the discharge planning department and tell them that they need to find placement for her.

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