That's a tough situation Minsy. My LO didn't want to see a doctor either. She thought she was fine, even though, she needed quite a few medications. How is your mom able to take her medications properly, if she has dementia? I'd likely explore daily care for her, even if she is not in agreement. Resistance to care is not uncommon. And, if necessary, consult with an attorney in her jurisdiction to see what steps are necessary to gain authority to act on her behalf. When a LO is in need of care, they require a lot of time. I recall having to leave work sometimes twice a day due to some kind of issue. Her needs will only increase. I hope you can find some help.
Good suggestions from Freqflyer about making appts all in 1 day. Why is she going so often? That seems excessive if she doesn't have some sort of chronic condition...even so, seems like a lot. If it is more of a fuller day you can those days a "lunch date" with her.
I realize you are probably juggling several flaming balls at once, but have you had the energy to give thought about when her oversight will need to increase? I'm hoping she has all her legal ducks in a row (durable PoA, HIPAA releases for you, Medical Directive, etc). Also, if she has the financial means I hope you are being reimbursed at least for gas? Make sure you keep very accurate records of any money exchanged between the 2 of you. Also, does your mom have any trustworthy neighbors you can cultivate as "mom watchers"? I asked my MIL's neighbor to keep an eye on her for odd behavior or habits and to contact me if there were any. I thanked them with gift cards. It was super helpful for our peace of mind. Blessings to you as you rise up to this challenge!
Two appointments in one day we have done. It’s a lot for her. My mother has several chronic conditions😳 but does fairly well with her activities of daily living. She does not do well when her routine is interrupted though. I do have a retired nurse who is a neighbor going in to do her meds once a week and she fought that. I am feeling that it is time for more in home care or assisted living but she will fight me tooth and nail. I am dopa and healthcare proxy. She does have some funds. I just get little or no help. I love the flaming ball analogy.....that’s how it often feels. Thank you
Minsy, I know how exhausting it can be running back and worth for doctor appointments. If I saw one more doctor's waiting room I felt like I could scream :P
Is there any way of booking 2 or maybe 3 appointments in one day with enough time between in case the doctor is running late? It would be a tiring day, but at least it would be only one drive to and from your home.
I always had to go to my parents appointments, glad I did. Once an appointment was over, I would overhear my parents talking about the doctor appointment and wonder if we all were in the same room. They would have things so mixed up.... [sigh].
And I found that my parents didn't need to every 3 months to all of their doctors. I could space it out to 4 or 5 months and nothing major ever happened.
Unfortunately I do think most appointments are warranted. This past year we have had: blood in her urine(she is on a blood thinner),pulmonary embolism,dvt, breast cancer (she made the mamo appointment all on her own), she has COPD, stg 3 kidney disease, she is a colon cancer survivor and has an ostomy. This past month a tooth extraction,Achilles tendinitis and an appointment for a urodynamic test due to urinary issues. She lives alone in a condo. Thanks for your suggestions😊
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
I realize you are probably juggling several flaming balls at once, but have you had the energy to give thought about when her oversight will need to increase? I'm hoping she has all her legal ducks in a row (durable PoA, HIPAA releases for you, Medical Directive, etc). Also, if she has the financial means I hope you are being reimbursed at least for gas? Make sure you keep very accurate records of any money exchanged between the 2 of you. Also, does your mom have any trustworthy neighbors you can cultivate as "mom watchers"? I asked my MIL's neighbor to keep an eye on her for odd behavior or habits and to contact me if there were any. I thanked them with gift cards. It was super helpful for our peace of mind. Blessings to you as you rise up to this challenge!
ADVERTISEMENT
Is there any way of booking 2 or maybe 3 appointments in one day with enough time between in case the doctor is running late? It would be a tiring day, but at least it would be only one drive to and from your home.
I always had to go to my parents appointments, glad I did. Once an appointment was over, I would overhear my parents talking about the doctor appointment and wonder if we all were in the same room. They would have things so mixed up.... [sigh].
And I found that my parents didn't need to every 3 months to all of their doctors. I could space it out to 4 or 5 months and nothing major ever happened.
Thanks for your suggestions😊